The only time women are not attracted to intelligent men is when they have the option of a good looking guy who is dumber than pants on fish. Still, it's comforting to know that given the choice of two ugly guys, women usually prefer the one who is not a moron. And obviously many women will still pick the guy who is both ugly and stupid if he has lots of money, good hair, is tall, or plays in a band. I did my own study to reach that conclusion. It's titled "Duh."
In my vast experience as an unattractive smart guy who was not always a syndicated cartoonist, there are in fact women who have fetishes for smart men. Not many, but they exist. My guess is that about 3% of the female public is in that group. That's probably good enough to keep the inventions flowing for a few more evolutionary steps.
The only risk to the future of humanity is that nerds will invent a technology that is better than sex with another human being. I'll try to keep this next part rated PG-13, so please be patient with the indirectness.
I assume some entrepreneur is already working on creating a business where guys will be able to buy a lifelike female body part that plugs into a standard USB port, and can be controlled by someone else across the Internet. That artificial body part could mimic a hand, mouth, or woo-woo. In the short run, the business model would involve paying women, in countries where such things are legal, to control the device and appear on a web cam chat. In the long run, artificial intelligence and CGI women will be controlling the action, so the whole system would only cost $100, with no recurring fees. And that will be the end of humanity because nerds will stop mating, their genes will die out, humanity will revert to the Bronze Age, and all the attractive, dumb people will be eaten by wild dogs.
I like to end on a positive note, so let's take a moment to be happy for the wild dogs.
This raises an interesting question: What did the lenders know about the borrowers that the borrowers did not know about themselves?
In theory, the people who got loans from the so-called predators had enough monthly income to pay the mortgage plus their other living expenses. The real risk was that the borrowers would become sick, unemployed, unlucky, or irresponsible. Apparently we expect lenders to be better judges of the strangers asking for loans than the would-be borrowers are of themselves. How did the conversation between lender and borrower go in the old days, before predatory lending?
Banker: "Well, Billy Bob, you can afford this loan now, but based on that dumbass hat you're wearing, I give you two weeks before you drink a case of beer and drive your Chevy into a silo."
If a potential borrower has the monthly income to repay a loan, how much external risk should the banker accept? I think it's somewhere in the 2% range. In other words, a good banker should turn down a loan for someone who has a 2% or greater chance of being doomed during the early years of the mortgage, before any equity has built up.
Lenders should be required to assign a doom factor to all loan applicants, like a fortune teller. It would be interesting to know, for example, that Wells Fargo has assigned a 20% doom factor to you. Then you could find out on the same day that you aren't going to own a house, and you have a 1-in-5 chance of becoming a hobo by 2010.
In one of my earlier career incarnations I was a banker. My job for a few years included reviewing and approving commercial loans for doctors and dentists. One day I declined a loan application for a dentist who, according to his recent tax returns, didn't have enough cash flow to repay the loan. My boss at the time reviewed my work and turned the decline into an approval without even looking at the financials. When I asked why, he explained that the borrower had a Chinese name. I questioned the wisdom of this lending procedure and he directed me to the files of delinquent borrowers, challenging me to find any Chinese names in there. There weren't any. I'm not judging, just telling you what happened.
I like the clarity of that explanation, but it seems incomplete. For one thing, there is no discussion of the positive aspects of a financial calamity, for example:
- Rent gets cheaper when housing prices fall. That's a redistribution of wealth from the rich to the poor.
- While it will be harder to get a mortgage for an $800K house, that house is only worth $500K now. That should make it a lot easier to qualify.
- Gas at $4 per gallon is a necessary condition for creating the next economic boom: renewable energy and green technology.
- A good recession now and then is necessary to purge the economy of things that need purging.
- College students are starting to choose technology majors over finance majors, probably because of the financial headlines, and this bodes well for the future.
I also wonder if the Internet will take some of the steam out of a credit problem. The problem is a lack of credit, not a lack of people who want to borrow, or a lack of money to lend. When lending is constrained by geography, you might find that your local bank is unwilling to help you. But with the Internet, it seems we could always find a match between a lender and a borrower, at some interest rate. The people who have money to lend aren't going to be keen on the stock market or real estate for awhile, so there should be plenty of capital for private lending at attractive rates. Arguably, banks are an anachronism anyway. This might speed up the inevitable.
I own some real estate (an empty lot) I have been trying to sell. Every recent offer on the property has included a component of seller financing. I expect to see a lot more of that if bank lending dries up.
And allow me to leave you with a pinch of optimism, just because I can. I call it Adams' Rule of Obvious Calamities. It states that any calamity that is foreseeable by the public at large won't turn out so bad after all. The best recent example was the Y2K problem, where computers worldwide were expected to fail. It seemed impossible that those issues could be resolved in time, but they were.
The problems that hit hardest are the ones that sneak up on you. Our current financial problem is big, but I expect a recession to be mild and even useful, precisely because so much human energy and attention is being focused on the fix.
I don't understand why having something in common with famous folks is supposed to make people feel good, but it does. Heck, it worked for me, and I'm on the list. So I tried to reproduce the feeling by seeing what other lists I am on. I found a few surprises. I listed them at the bottom.
This made me think that a good web site would be "famous people who are like you." It could start with famous people who have the same birthday, graduated from your school, once lived in your town, have the same sort of dog, watch the same TV shows, had your same profession at one time, committed the same crimes, are the same height, played the same instruments or sports, and so on. If you are like me, you will feel comforted knowing there are lots of famous people who have things in common with you. It's a shallow feeling, but a good feeling nonetheless.
The website would be extra cool if you could paste your own photo into the list of famous people, and create a web page, or print it out. Someone please go build that website.
Here are some more of the lists I discovered that include me.
Famous Mac Users (I switched to Windows years ago.)
Famous Unitarians (even though I have never been one)
Famous Mensans (I stopped paying dues in the eighties)
Famous Economics Majors
There is not yet a list of famous people who are CostCo members, but I could be on that list too:
With that in mind, today I saw two articles about human intelligence, as it relates to voting. I suggest you read both, and pause after each paragraph to contemplate the word "doomed." It might make the experience funnier.
Here's the first. This one made me laugh my "ars" off.
This one is almost as funny.
Now go out there and vote. Especially if you are sure you are right!
Yesterday I found myself in a political discussion that included my very lonely Republican friend. Eyes rolled when he claimed the Clinton administration was to blame for the mortgage fiasco. His argument is that during the Clinton era, lenders were pressured by the government, and by interest groups, to loosen loan standards in order to increase minority home ownership. This strategy reportedly worked splendidly while home prices were increasing. You know the rest of the story.
My Republican friend followed up with a link to an article that I have seen twice in the comments to this blog, so I hereby promote that link to my post:
I'm not persuaded by the article, but neither do I discount it entirely. My problem, as always, is that I don't have enough knowledge to make a judgment about it. It sounds credible, but that doesn't mean much.
At best, the pressure to increase minority home ownership was only part of the problem. The executives in the mortgage industry must have known that the increased lending activity would make them even more stinkin' rich than usual, at least short term. In the long term, they would be living on their yachts. Without the greed angle, the executives might have better resisted what they knew was a risky path.
Second, as Warren Buffett said when he saw all the complicated financial derivatives based on mortgage activity, "My eyebrows are huge!" He didn't actually say that, but he did warn that trouble was brewing in the derivatives game long before it was obvious to people with normal sized eyebrows. So the exotic and complicated financial derivatives market made a bad situation worse, and that had nothing to do with the liberal agenda.
If there is any truth to the idea that the Clinton administration was a major cause of the mortgage crisis, you have to ask yourself why the media is mostly ignoring that angle. If it isn't true, does anyone have a link to a rebuttal?
In other words, public opinion is starting to line up with the opinion of economists. Did the Dilbert Survey of Economists have any impact on that move?
The biggest reason for the move in the polls probably has to do with McCain's support of Republican policies that are widely seen as the source of the problem.
Second, the financial problem is complicated. The only thing we ignorant voters know for sure is that we want someone with a high IQ to sort out this mess on our behalf. No matter how much you love McCain's philosophy, track record, moral compass, common sense, or anything else about him, he doesn't come close to Obama in pure brain power. For most issues, that probably doesn't make much difference. For an issue of this complexity, it might.
Third, I think the Dilbert Survey of Economists probably had some impact, at least with the free thinkers of the Internet. A lot of people, including me, assumed before the survey that most professional economists would lean Republican. The fact that so many economists are Democrats, and support Obama, is both a surprise and hard to ignore.
I wouldn't have funded the survey if I didn't have this blog. And I wouldn't have this blog if people didn't leave comments. So if the Dilbert Survey of Economists ends up changing the world, and you have ever left a comment here, you were part of something important.