Think of the last person to whom you spoke and describe that person's most annoying personality trait. One of them might become a Dilbert comic.

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Sep 11, 2009
The guy who, while formulating his response, can appear to be genuinely listening to you.

The guy who, while formulating his response, is obviously on the other planet.

The guy who, thinking everything needs an immediate response, thinks out loud.

The guy who, thinking everything needs an immediate response, just starts yapping.

The guy who thinking you want "an answer", gives you "an answer".

The guy who, in less than 60 seconds, subconsciously steers EVERY conversation to how great he is or who done him wrong.

I'm done, this is pissing me off.
Sep 11, 2009
The guy who, when you tell him something he didn't know, is right back to "knowing" that he knows 100% of everything.
Sep 11, 2009
The guy who wants kudos for accomplishing every little ordinary task.
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Sep 6, 2009
Little late here, but just had to add one more. It's my very own quirk.

The person who constantly references Dilbert cartoons when attempting to provide insightful analogies for everyday office issues/problems/situations/etc. It's gotten so bad that people on my team say things like, "was that from Dilbert?"
Aug 28, 2009
Oh, another one. Years ago when still in high school I worked in retail. The assistant manager of the store had the eventually incredibly irritating habit of ending EVERY question with the word "Yeah?". As in, "Have you cleaned the stockroom, yeah?", "Did you put that massive TV by the unloading door, yeah?", "Have you had your lunchbreak already, yeah?". What was most irritating was that the questions only ever seemed to be ones to which the answer was no, thus massively increasing the social awkwardness.

I now work for a Japanese company, and it appears that the Japanese (a) read ALL questions from superiors as ending with an implied "Yeah?" and (b) only ever respond "Yes", regardless of the question and whether the answer is "Yes", "No", or "the laws of thermodynamics render that impossible in this universe".
Aug 28, 2009
Oh so many, but...

The repeater. You've driven three hours across country to get to a meeting. The repeater lives ten minutes away. It is late, it is dark, and you haven't eaten or drunk anything for six hours. Every single relevant issue has been dealt with, and you want to start the three hour drive home, or at the very least get a coffee and something sugary. But the repeater, who brought his own doughnuts and didn't share them, just wants to discuss one more issue. It's an issue you actually completely bottomed out an hour ago, but he wants to talk about it again. So you do... then you start to pack up your stuff, and he thinks of something else. And something else. And something else. ALL of which you've ALREADY DISCUSSED, in full. By the end of the meeting, every single agenda item has been done in triplicate, at which point the repeater cheerfully stands up and announces that he has to get home now, because his wife will have his dinner on the table in ten minutes.

The Inescapable People. People who can't recognise subtle signs that the conversation is over. People who continue talking to you, even starting new stories, in the teeth of subliminal cues like shifting in your seat, shuffling nervously, or saying "Right, I really have to go", and turning your back on them and walking away.

Similar habit on the telephone, although this is actually my mother. Apparently her phone contains a voice modulation circuit which means when I say the words "I have to go now, Mum, there's someone at the door, there's a pot boiling on the stove, and one of the kids has fallen down the stairs", what she hears is "Please tell me another story about the bowels of someone you know but that I've never met. I have plenty of time. And do make sure you are extremely specific and accurate about precise dates and time, because they matter to me."

Aug 26, 2009
The over helperer. My colleague will ask a question to help. When you decline her help, she always asks are you sure. It is really no problem. Annoys the crap out of me.
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Aug 25, 2009
The Helper: Like the Topper, this person always has some annoying anecdote about how they've helped their community, or those less fortunate. bottom line is he/she is a better person than you are because he/she volunteers. Apparently all the time. doesn't he/she work full-time in this office? Somehow annoyingly productive at the office too.
Aug 24, 2009
The person who sends a ton of emails explaining why the work isn't done, instead of doing the work.
Aug 22, 2009
The person I can't stand is the suck up, toady, brown nose, yes man, sycophant. Every office has one.
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Aug 22, 2009
I take notes whenever I meet with my boss. Occasionally this will include informal policy direction or tasks that he will follow through on. On several occasions I refer to my notes when something comes up and he requests to know what went wrong. On one of those occasions it seemed that my boss had not follow through as he had planned. He accused me of being too organized just so I can point out his forgetfulness.

Aug 21, 2009
The Contradictor. I say it's hot, he says, "Welllll, it's humid." I relate a story from the news, he corrects me on the date...or the direction the car was traveling...or the driver's name....or....
Aug 20, 2009
The person who:

1. Tells everyone they are way too busy to read all of their emails.
2. Gets upset when "they were not informed" of what's going on.
3. Expects instant replies when they send questions by email.

As an added bonus, this person also refuses to follow any new procedures, because they have been there for 15 years and "we used to do it this way..."
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Aug 19, 2009
The person who uses her speakerphone to call someone who sits within earshot. If you can hear the other party live, in person and on the speaker, you're to close to warrant use of the speaker phone. Of course there's the other guy that has to use his speakerphone for every conversation, business or personal, because we all want to know his opinion on toe fungus.
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Aug 19, 2009
The interuptor- Never lets you finish a sentence, you might be answering his question and he will but in.

Boss - Takes my advice, waits a week, then repackages it as his own.

Cunnundrum- I can think of at least one annoying thing about each of my co-workers but not one for myself, do I just not have one (ie im a pleasant employee) or am I blind to it, as most annoying people seem to be.

Good blog Scott!
Aug 18, 2009
See, ask people to complain, and your comments list explodes.

I'll bite.

It is pretty bad when one person talks down to another person because of an age difference when both are professional colleagues.

It is worse when someone mixes (extreme, insane) politics with business.

Last week the two combined. And I quote:
"All of this transparency in business is socialism. Everyone knowing everything in business and in government, it is all socialist. You wouldn't understand that, because you young people are used to this socialism of everyone knowing everything about everyone with the internet. We need to go back to good, old-fashioned democracy."
"So... Where nobody knows anything?"
"Like Nixon."

Knowing things = socialism!
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Aug 18, 2009
People who work in IT, but, keep information about what they are doing all hush hush, like they are in some sort of top secret laboratory hidden beneath the Dolomites. When really, all they are doing is restoring a file for someone that accidentally erased it, or putting together some info on Best ways to reduce paper waste.

Aug 18, 2009
Someone I work with-- the nervous laugh when they aren't sure whats going on.
Aug 18, 2009
For me, it is the guy who frequently makes random statements then gets angry that people around him don't understand his implied question - as if it was obvious. Example: Out of the blue - "China has had a HUGE pollution problem recently". The rest of us, 'ok" Translation: "Maybe we should order-out chinese for lunch". Actually, that one might almost have a connection... it would be closer if it was "I watched a show on Whaling last night." Translation: "Whaling has been linked with Japan. Japan is closer to China than we are. Maybe we shoudl order-out chinese for lunch."
Aug 17, 2009
[Is it my imagination or did you say the empty vessel had as much chance of predicting the stock market as you do? -- Scott]

Yes.... There are times when you know that the stock market is very underpriced and times when you know that it is very overpriced. But this happens about once in five-seven years. The rest of the time the market can swing about 20-25% either way any time.

Actually there is no need to try and predict the market. Suffice to know that we will have a bull market sometime in future. Exactly when, nobody knows, but if you are investing regularly in the market, you are likely to get good profits in the next bull market, whenever it occurs.

Buying regularly and holding on till the next bull market is a good investment strategy - and no great predictions are necessary.
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