Think of the last person to whom you spoke and describe that person's most annoying personality trait. One of them might become a Dilbert comic.

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +16
  • Print
  • Share


Sort By:
Aug 15, 2009
My sister's friend is super skinny, and all of her sentences were about food and how she wants to eat all of it, all the time. She would not shut up about food. My sister would start talking about dogs or trees or people and her friend would bring it right back to the many different kinds of food available.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 15, 2009
I worked with a guy who used to work late every night and so the boss thought he was a really hard worker, example to us all etc

Except, all he did all day was surf the net, check his facebook, chat with friends etc

I never understood why anyone would want to stay late at work just to slack off...
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 15, 2009
verbal and incessant curiosity (she's 7 years old)
+5 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 15, 2009

I am not a native english speaker, as you can easily spot by my strange way of putting things, but I am fairly sure that you are wrong. The verb 'send' goes with the noun 'forty plainloads' (subject), whereas 'message' is the direct object. To put it another way, the plainloads are the ones who are sending the message.

I don't know why I told you that, I thought the world needs to know.

The most annoying peronality trait of one of my friends is that he is easily convinced by other friends of him who claim to know that the gaschambers in WOII did not exist, and that 9-11 was a scam of the American secret service.
-4 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 15, 2009
I have the annoying trait of correcting other people's grammar.
As in, "You know, Scott, your comic should read 'What message DOES forty planeloads of snow send', since the verb goes with the noun 'message', which is singular."

Annoying, isn't it?
Don't get me started on 'its' and 'their'.
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 15, 2009
This is a classic, but my boss does not understand does not understand the aspect of time and simple math; eg. how one project-estimate is affected by adding one or two additional full-time projects in the same time-span. He is the kind of guy telling you to take the weekend off on friday 1700, and then on monday morning have you explain (in front of the whole team) why you have not finished all your tasks.
Aug 15, 2009
Let's see, the last person I spoke to was a dear friend; that said, he canNOT seem to get anywhere on time. If we're out at dinner, we know he's not showing up until we've been there an hour. If he calls to say he's on his way, it'll be at least 30 minutes more. THEN, when he shows up (while everyone is polishing off their desserts), we get up to leave and he wonders why everyone leaves as soon as he gets there. This has become a running joke; he'll show up quite late, we'll leave soon after, and he'll complain that we always leave as soon as he shows up.

It could work.
Aug 15, 2009
My submission would be a friend who, while considering himself a skeptic and very rational/mathematical about things like AGW, green technology, government programs, etc., is perfectly willing to fall back on his own higher education and professional qualifications in arguments with the assumption that such a resort to authority automatically ends the argument, slam dunk, he wins.

You obviously can't question his professional judgement or his academic credentials if you are not qualified as he is even though he might well be able to question everyone else's assertions and claims while lacking a similar equivalent qualification to evaluate their claims.

A hypocrisy of sorts or a moderate conceit, but irritating to others who find him questioning their sacred cows while effectively treating his own proclamations as a Papal Bull. Although, now that I think about it, there may in fact be some fair amount of bull in this scenario.....

The lad is one of my best friends, but this habit irritates the living daylights out of all of our mutual friends.
Aug 14, 2009
A co-worker who takes everything personally. Not criticism, mind you, literally everything is taken personally. If I were to mention that it was a busy day she'd apologize about the schedule and say, "I had nothing to do with it."
If I mention that it's a hot day, she'll not only apologize about the temperature, but will scold other workers for not setting the thermostat low enough, just after saying, "I had nothing to do with it."

She's right of course, she never has anything to do with it, which is what makes it so annoying. It was so bad, I was afraid I was being an ogre or something, but other co-workers have told me she does the same thing to them.
Aug 14, 2009
Talking for a good 10 minutes without listening, with an honorable mention for body odor.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2009
Hmmm. I'll try not to generalize this into gender-specific behavior. Let's just say that someone I know is incapable of taking "yes" for an answer:
Other person: Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?
Me: Yes, sounds great! Let's go.
Other person: Well. we could always fix something here.

Sadly, this person (again, this is not _necessarily_ a gender-specific issue) has a profound case of HSD (Horizontal Surface Disorder). Every horizontal surface in the house can (and must!) have something on it, preferably a lot of stuff, ideally in a large pile.

Finally, <insert gender disclaimer here> this person can spend ten minutes recounting how boring it was having a five minute conversation with other person's sibling. The conversation with the sibling was found especially boring because this was the umpteenth time they had that exact conversation (and note that I received the same recap each time).

Aug 14, 2009
Judoka735 the eye contact thing may be badfor you or maybe you should try considering they come from a culture where the bejeezus would be kicked out of you for looking them in the eye. Or maybe they are just extremely shy. I should know it's both for me.
Aug 14, 2009
Well could me I'm a Limey as an old boss used to call me, I have an annoying tendency to state the blindingly obvious as if no one notices.
Well as for my coworkers well we have a guy whom I have nicknamed Darth Vader for his amazing ability to only breath through his mouth loudly and out of of sync. It has the unnerving effect of stopping me from breathing it's that irritating. The guy who whistles down the hallway and in his cube oblivious to the distraction it causes. Oh and the guy playing bagpipes in the parking lot does he not realize this is a weapon of war and banned in most countries I believe it contravenes the Geneva convention. We have the Harpy manager who ends any sentence with the falsest laugh you have ever heard. Don't get me started on the women who think it's appropriate to dress like a hooker at work, which is why we have to suffer the dress code email on a regular basis.
Aug 14, 2009
The Chortler. He...well, you know, chortles. At nearly *everything*. Before meeting him, I wouldn't have thought that would be a terribly distracting trait. After 6 months of working with him, I'm developing a twitch like Tweak. Oh, he talks about South Park for about 20 - 30 minutes every day, which is kinda like a really crappy version of tivo.
Aug 14, 2009
A real good musician, who is jealous of people who try harder, thinks they are somehow "selling out" by trying to actually make a living at their music. Any time you mention somebody, he puts them down, never realizing that you know he will instantly put you down as soon as a third party mentions your name. Pathetic really.

Do i get a tee shirt?
Aug 14, 2009
my wife. no matter how clearly i speak, or how simply i structure a sentence, or how i offer a lead-in to get her attention without saying anything noteworthy, she says, "WHAT?" i know she she hears and understands what i am saying, it's just some unconscious reflex. and i always end up repeating everything, and i always end up repeating everything. (annoying, ain't it)
Aug 14, 2009
Guy in the office... If he accomplishes something, of course he says "he" did it. If the team accomplishes something, he says "he" did it. If I do something, he says "we" did it. It is impossible to get credit for your own work.

I am a development team lead (aka cat herder). One guy on the project must give me updates every 10 minutes when he is working on something more challenging than breathing. We keep count how many times he visits my cube in a given day. If he happens to visit while I am eating lunch, he must know the details of what I am eating and if I cooked it, etc.

Another guy goofs off all day and then at the end of the day sends an email that he is "stuck" on what he is working on and needs help to continue. It is unlikely he will be on the project much longer.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2009
Like most bosses, Madi chases impractical ideas, lacks basic reasoning skills, isn't very good at math, doesn't read what I write, makes decisions without considering all the angles, says things that don't make sense, interrupts work for pointless exercises, demands attention at the worst times, and needs to be watched constantly or things will get messed up.

Of course, it's more acceptable in her case - she's only three. And she'd probably make a better boss than my current one...
Aug 14, 2009
My wife(and do not contact me if you were to use this) ends just about every observation with HA HA HA. she sings well and has a booming loud voice. Now her Sister if over from California and guess what.....?
I am very introverted and this screeks up my spine every time they talk. extroverted nightmare. I know I have got to be more open but this is ridicules. Well, it will not last long. Me and the whole neighborhood is glad they are having a good time
Aug 14, 2009
@charlesfunnish: Maybe when you said "apple" it sounded like "orange".

Sounds like your job is to pass communication between various people. If there's a miscommunication, it might be your fault.

(aside: wasn't your job made obsolete by email?)
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog