I'm amazed by people who can sleep eight hours a night. If I sleep that much I feel like I got hit by a truck the next day. I prefer six to seven hours of sleep per night. I guess I'm lucky because scientists recently discovered that eight hours a night is too much.


Add the "eight hours of sleep" myth to the eight 8-ounce glasses of water you were supposed to drink per day, the food you weren't supposed to eat before swimming, and the huge amounts of bread you were supposed to eat for a healthy diet.

Seriously, is there ANYTHING I learned when I was a kid that is true?

I'm reasonably sure that if I make a funny face, it will not get stuck in that position. If I go outside without a jacket, I won't catch a cold no matter how much the words cold and cold sound alike. And all of my friends who smoked cigarettes ended up taller than me.

What baloney did you learn as a kid?

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +17
  • Print
  • Share


Sort By:
Jun 11, 2008
Thanks for your story ina but artists are NOT stupid people. Add that to your list of myths.
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 11, 2008
As I am from exSoviet republic, we, kids, were systematically brainwashed by cartoons, books and teachers, that eating 'manna' porridge is very very good for you. If and only if you eat it, you will grow up strong, tall and healthy. Which is total rubbish, for that porridge - with ironically biblical title - was nothing else, but wheat, crushed more roughly. So basically - just pure carbohydrates without any useful stuff.

And - as opposed to 'jakesdad - that in USA an amazing percentage of children starve and are forced to live and feed in dumps.

Actually, concerning health advice is not much different here in UK. The government has launched 'five a day' campaign, meaning, that you have to eat five portions of fruit or vegetable a day. Also, that safe drinking limmit for women is 2-3, men - 3-4 mystical alcohol units per day. Not that fruits are bad and vodka will save you - those numbers are completely made up.

Ahhh, and that the size of the brain in no way correlates with intelligence - which it statistically does. As a example was given: 'A,B & C (naming famous scientists) had large brains, and D,E&F (naming famous artists) had small ones'.

Jun 11, 2008
Today I learned that Alatoruk had a very creepy childhood.

I don't think my parents cared enough to tell me silly lies. I guess thats a good thing.
+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 11, 2008
If I get LESS than 7 hours of sleep, I feel like I got hit by a truck. If left to my own devices, I get 8.5 or 9 hours a night, although I'm only usually able to do that on weekends. I don't know how you insomniacs do it.

Oh, right, the lies...

Every time you have sex, the girl gets pregnant
People will be nice to you if you're nice to them
You need to know geometry as an adult (the last time I had to use the Angle-Side-Angle theorem was the last day of that class)
Jun 11, 2008
You'll catch a cold if you go outside with wet hair.

If you swallow chewing gum, they'll have to take your appendix out.

Holding a frog causes warts.

It's more important to be beautiful on the inside. (In Southern California found out that one is not quite as true as you'd like to believe.)
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 11, 2008
Hi Scott,

I got two bad ones in high school. First I was told typing was not a useful skill for professionals, even as I was in the first class to take AP computing. I was also told that French would be a useful language to learn, or at least more useful than Spanish. I took electric shop and French. I would love to trade that knowledge for typing and Spanish (aside from Latin that was my only other choice), oh well.

For the 8 ounces of water thing, I still follow that guideline. If you ever met anyone who had kidney stones or shared a hospital room with a guy needing surgery to remove stones that didn't quite make it out, you would believe in drinking lots of water.

Off to fill my mug,
Jun 11, 2008
hmmmm - how about kids told me -
step on a rack, marry a rat.
break the shell on a hard boiled egg to stop the witches using them as boats.

adults told me -
eat all your crusts and your hair will go curly. - note it WAS curly, now its just receeding.
watching too much telly makes your eyes go square.
hit your mum and your hand will stick up in the grave.
the tooth fairy.....
if you didnt eat all your dinner you cannot have room for pudding. - want to bet, there is always room for pudding.
Jun 11, 2008
If you swallow gum, your stomach will stick together.
Hot and humid weather (in Southern California) is earthquake weather.
Jun 11, 2008
There was one whopper - 'God's watching you' - it turns out that there is no God, but making people feel guilty probably stops them doing some bad stuff (Ricky Gervais says that his mum used God as a cheap baby-sitter). However, former Catholic schoolgirls prove that this effect is quite short-lived.

Other than that, little Hannah's going to learn the words to Baz Luhrmann's 'Sunscreen'; I think that's fairly safe advice. Anything else I tell her will probably just be lies.

Jun 11, 2008
To trust priests, congressmen, anyone in uniform.. - boy were they ever wrong.
Sunshine is good for you.
Marriage is forever.
Jun 11, 2008
that Russians were bad/evil/hated Americans...

I'm certainly not defending the Soviet government (nor would I our current one) but one of the greatest experiences of my life was going to Moscow for 10 days with the Friendship Force back in spring '93 (sort of a brief exchange program for adults where you stay with a family).
Jun 11, 2008
That Columbus thought the world was flat.
That our dogs went to live on a nice farm.
Jun 11, 2008
Work hard and you'll be rewarded.
Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.
Politeness will get you farther than being mean.
Always respect authority figures.

These have proven no more true that the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or babies coming from the cabbage patch. It doesn't keep me from still following the advice, though......

+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 11, 2008
I've learned that if you !$%*!$%*!$% you really don't go blind, but it was worth the risk.
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog