I always need to eat something before I attempt writing or else nothing comes out. I eat exactly one banana before I write a blog post, and one chocolate Clif Builder's bar before writing a comic. I always assumed this was just a combination of ordinary hunger plus a habit that borders on OCD. The only thing I knew for sure was that deviating from the routine seriously impeded my productivity.

Recently a reader sent me a link about a writer who has the same experience but better research to explain why. The bottom line is that writing requires will power to avoid distraction, and will power is correlated with your glucose levels. In other words, your free will is actually sugar.


This makes me wonder if there is an optimal food strategy for seduction. Apparently bringing a woman chocolate will only increase her glucose levels and with that her ability to resist you. In fact, a guy should want his woman to be good and hungry, preferably on a diet. It turns out that resisting one sort of temptation makes it harder to resist a different sort at the same time.

If that is not enough, I just did a Google search to confirm that alcohol lowers your glucose levels. That fits the theory. Everyone knows they have less will power after a few drinks.


Putting it all together, the best first date a guy could arrange would involve a woman who is on a diet to begin with. Eating is the first temptation she is trying to resist, making other temptations that much harder to resist. The date would start at around 5 pm when her glucose levels are starting to drop and the seducer should keep her hungry as long as possible. Add some alcohol to the mix and her glucose will drop further. Now add yet another temptation. I'm thinking a stroll through a high-end shopping center would work, as long as the woman believed it would be rude to actually purchase something while on a first date. She would be tempted to pop into the stores to take a better look, but she would resist.

And you thought science wasn't good for anything.

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +9
  • Print
  • Share


Sort By:
Jan 7, 2009
Happy New Year!

I'm sorry to spoil all the fun but do you know what (sometimes) happens if a woman gets too hungry (e.g. low glucose levels)?

Apart from the nagging thing she gets...


Jan 5, 2009
How about slipping her sugar free chocolates?
Dec 30, 2008
Wow, this is the first time I've actually been compelled to thank you for your advice, and oddly enough it has nothing to do with the bulk of the post (the sex part). I too write a comic strip, and I often have trouble concentrating on crafting the next day's installment. I'm going to try moving that part of my day to right after meals and see if it has any effect.
Dec 30, 2008
Trickypickle: No. The last entry on this subject referenced the result that willpower acts like a finite resource, and recommended taking a girl shopping to exhaust her willpower (which reappeared at the end of this entry, hence the deja vu), but it said nothing about blood glucose level.
Dec 30, 2008
From eating a banana to getting laid. That is quite a leap of the imagination. Maybe you are just feeling randy in the morning. Go back to bed.
Dec 30, 2008
Actually, glucose gives you the energy to carry out your free will. Consider a car: gasoline is necessary to drive, but it is not the same as the driver.

You already have the intentions of writing in your mind. You just need energy to do it.
Dec 30, 2008
I'm no major seductionist, god knows, but I have the feeling that if you're looking for "Better seduction through biochemistry!", you've probably missed the point by a long, long way already. Basically, you're trying to make palm trees by changing the colour of snowflakes in the Antarctic. Statistics hide a multitude of variation folks, be glad :)
Dec 30, 2008
Giving a woman chocolate will only increase her glucose when she actually eats it; if she doesn't rip open the box and stuff them straight away (which is probably bad manners) I reckon the anticipation of chocolate will increase her insulin and lower the glucose – giving chocolate is good.
Dec 30, 2008
You are assuming that a woman having sex with you is a "temptation".
+2 Rank Up Rank Down
Dec 30, 2008

Isn't weight loss a matter of willpower?

If so, there is a curious paradox in that the only way to get thin is to eat food that makes you fat...
Dec 30, 2008
Scott, I know you always say "Free will doesn't exist" and "willpower doesn't exist" and that it basically comes down to enjoyment units or pleasure units or whatever. Now - let me get this straight. You are saying to free your willy, you must rely on will power (that doesn't exist). Dang it, that means I don't get to get my pleasure unit out.
Dec 30, 2008
"Apparently bringing a woman chocolate will only increase her glucose levels and with that her ability to resist you. "

Actually, here your logic is broken, Scott. You assume that you are "tempting" to the woman as if you were some sort of hunky George Clooney figure. For me and you and most of the rest of us, our women actually require willpower IN ORDER TO sleep with us. Thus, you want to make sure a woman has had a few Mars bars so she can stomach having sex with you.

"alcohol lowers your glucose levels. That fits the theory. Everyone knows they have less will power after a few drinks."

I think the mechanism by which alcohol lowers inhibitions is more complicated than low glucose levels, though I'm no doctor.
Dec 30, 2008
Guess you could only eat half a banana ths AM, huh?

(Sorry, too obvious, but couldn't resist.)
Dec 30, 2008
Here's another advantage of low glucose levels: the subject becomes more suggestible! Perfect!
Dec 30, 2008
Isn't this a repeat of a previous entry? Or am I having a major case of de ja vu?
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Dec 30, 2008
You should add your regular disclaimer "Do not take your dating advice from a cartoonist" I would also probably recommend a glucose shot for yourself so that you are determined to get laid on that date.
+2 Rank Up Rank Down
Dec 30, 2008
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Which makes sense because if you keep his sugar levels up, he can better resist other women!
Dec 30, 2008

So many "what if's"....I will get rid of any sugar at home, and replace it for nutrasweet or vodka, depending of the use.

Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog