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Just when you thought we didn't have enough problems, a type of immortal jellyfish is making a move for world domination. Apparently they become younger after they procreate.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4357829/Immortal-jellyfish-swarming-across-the-world.html


I welcome our jellyfish overlords. We humans like to think we're the pinnacle of evolution but the evidence doesn't support that theory. Let's see how we compare to jellyfish.

Starting with the obvious, when we humans become old we pay big money to inject rat poison in our foreheads so we won't look like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sushisharpei.jpg


When Jellyfish get old they just hump their way back to childhood and start over. Seriously, who has the better system?

When humans want to find a mate they use online dating services and interview many strangers, at least half of whom have club feet and criminal records.

Jellyfish have the advantage of looking exactly alike. That means every jellyfish is aroused by every other jellyfish. When they want to mate they just grab the nearest jellyfish that isn't their own reflection and start going to town. Advantage: jellyfish.

Last night I watched the Jacksonville auditions for American Idol for the second time in two nights because the kids hadn't seen it the first time. Jellyfish spent last night making love and getting younger. Advantage: Jellyfish.

Okay, now it's your turn. Tell me what you have been doing recently and compare that to what jellyfish were doing at the same time. See who wins.

 
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Feb 2, 2009
Just watch...sooner or later you'll be getting spam from a snake-oil salesman announcing his new book: "Grow Young by Having Sex!", only $24.95, available on Amazon or his website..."as seen on Oprah!"

Advantage humans...only they could come up with something like that.
 
 
Feb 2, 2009
wac50

Dwoot, dwooot, dwoot. Pedant's corner here - just pointing out that there is no such thing as vegetarian parmesan. It all contains animal based rennet or else it cannot be called parmesan. Sorry if you just meant vegetarian parmesan-style cheese eggplant, or non flesh based parmesan aubergine. And I am not even a vegetarian, though I do avoid consumption of meat, eating only innocent fishes on occasion.
 
 
Feb 2, 2009
I dunno, it sounds like the Jellyfish have to relive puberty EVERY time they get younger.

I'd like to see a raise of hands as to who would like to go through puberty again and again and again between having children.

Then you're a little kid again, and guess what!!! you're now raising a baby too!!!

Who wants to go through puberty again and again and again while caring for a baby each time and being unable to do anything *fun* with your beautiful wife until you both grow up again? and then repeating it again, and again, and again.

Don't sign me up!
 
 
Jan 31, 2009
How about this is how the Flying Spaghetti Monster will choose to visit us poor humans?
 
 
Jan 31, 2009
Unless it is really immortal like immortality should be. It comes back all together and become a whole jelly fish again next time the tuna poops. Just like the mercury man came together piece by piece. Now that's what I would call immortal.
I wonder how many jellyfish will die in our pursuit of immortality and youth?
How long before the magic shot of jellyfish DNA that will erase our wrinkles and rid us of degenerative disease??
----------
neetu
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<a href=" http://mls.fastrealestate.net/b/mls-listings "></a>
 
 
Jan 31, 2009
Unless it is really immortal like immortality should be. It comes back all together and become a whole jelly fish again next time the tuna poops. Just like the mercury man came together piece by piece. Now that's what I would call immortal.
I wonder how many jellyfish will die in our pursuit of immortality and youth?
How long before the magic shot of jellyfish DNA that will erase our wrinkles and rid us of degenerative disease??
----------
neetu
---------
[url= http://mls.fastrealestate.net/b/mls-listings]MLS listings[/url]-MLS listings
 
 
Jan 31, 2009
Unless it is really immortal like immortality should be. It comes back all together and become a whole jelly fish again next time the tuna poops. Just like the mercury man came together piece by piece. Now that's what I would call immortal.
I wonder how many jellyfish will die in our pursuit of immortality and youth?
How long before the magic shot of jellyfish DNA that will erase our wrinkles and rid us of degenerative disease??
----------
neetu
---------
<a href="http://mls.fastrealestate.net/b/mls-listings">MLS listings</a>-MLS listings
 
 
Jan 30, 2009
I just finished enjoying my copy of Dilbert 2.0 and spent half an hour trying to figure out where all the strips are on the DVD. I think I have a bad copy, it definitely is not 20 years worth of strips

I'd rather be going to town on a jellyfish.
 
 
Jan 30, 2009
So would not mating be tantamount to suicide for them?

Also, my understanding is that human equivalent of this process would be reverting back to prepubescence after every sexual encounter.

PASS!
 
 
Jan 30, 2009
Listening to management discuss how the strategic outsourcing and subsequent layoffs in my department will benefit the company as a whole. Advantage: Jelly Fish

Post-meeting, held back from inserting a screwdriver into my left ear to try to remove the dumb. Advantage: Jelly Fish

Made love to my beautiful wife. Advantage: Me

Successfully worked at not being translucent. Advantage: Me

Sounds like it's a tie, 2v2.

The tie breaker:

I work as a bill collector. The End. Advantage: Jelly Fish
 
 
Jan 30, 2009
I thought Brad Pitt looked familir in "Button".

He is actually just my next door Jelly Fish.
 
 
Jan 30, 2009
ME: having to listen before and after sex whatever woman have to say
jellyfish: just float and sex

advantage: jellyfish.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 30, 2009
Last night I was browsing the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog and chuckling when I looked at the bug vacuum (http://www.hammacher.com/publish/73620.asp) and thinking of Scott Adams vacuuming up ants. And heck, even saying "Hammacher Schlemmer" made me smile a bit. And this was after a delicious vegetarian meal of eggplant parmesan.

The jellyfish meanwhile was being a carnivore and digesting whatever little fishes and etc. got entangled in its tentacles.

Advantage: Human
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 30, 2009
I wonder how many jellyfish will die in our pursuit of immortality and youth?
How long before the magic shot of jellyfish DNA that will erase our wrinkles and rid us of degenerative disease??

Disadvantage:jellyfish
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 30, 2009
"Jellyfish have the advantage of looking exactly alike."
Racist.
My new best friend is a jellyfish and she tells me they are all unique.
By the way, humping a jellyfish works. I feel younger already.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 30, 2009
"Jellyfish have the advantage of looking exactly alike."
Racist.
My new best friend is a jellyfish and she tells me they are all unique.
By the way, humping a jellyfish works. I feel younger already.
 
 
Jan 30, 2009
Me: Talking boss through bad news figures like he's a hyperactive toddler
Jellyfish: Humping and getting back teenage abs.

Jellyfish romps home by about 8 lengths
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 29, 2009
Hi Scott,

I had read somwhere -- "While the entire humanity craves immortality -most people dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy sunday afternoon".

And yes, jellyfish cant sketch, blog, or have a pet and blah , blah ,blah......................................................................... --whats the fun in being immortal if you are look exactly like others - other than getting laid all the time!!!!!!

So, advantage Scott and all every other human being.

Cheers,

Alok
 
 
Jan 29, 2009
I am not so sure how the jellyfish paybacks the nearest jellyfish he ride.
Me, I have to pay the nearest one for a short date.

Advantage: humans - the one got paid
 
 
-3 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 29, 2009
I am so sure how the jellyfish paybacks the nearest jellyfish he ride.
Me, I have to pay the nearest one for a short date.

Advantage: humans - the one got paid
 
 
 
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