Home
I never felt too violated by the news that my government can snoop on every digital communication and financial transaction I make. Maybe I should have been more bothered, but the snooping wasn't affecting my daily life, and it seemed like it might be useful for fighting terrorism, so I worried about other things instead.

This week, as I was pulling together all of my records to do taxes, I didn't get too upset that the process of taxpaying is unnecessarily frustrating and burdensome. As a citizen, I do what I need to do. I'm a team player.

I have also come to peace with the fact that my government now takes about half of my income. I figure most of it goes to good causes. I'm here to help.

I take pride in the fact that I don't let the little things get to me.

But the other day, as I was crawling my way through mountains of statements and receipts, trying to organize my records for my accountant, with several more days of this drudgery ahead, I had a disturbing thought. I must warn you in advance that this disturbing thought can only be expressed in all capital letters and it must include profanity. It goes like this.

Message to my government:

DO MY FUCKING TAXES FOR ME, YOU ASSHOLES!!! YOU ALREADY KNOW EVERY FUCKING THING I DID THIS YEAR!!!

Seriously.

 
Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +340
  • Print
  • Share
  • Share:

Comments

Sort By:
+28 Rank Up Rank Down
Mar 6, 2014
Actually, Scott, there are long-standing proposals to have the IRS calculate the taxes owed by the vast majority of Americans so that tax returns would be unnecessary, but these proposals are fiercely opposed by (1) tax preparers (H&R Block, TurboTax, etc.), who make money off the current system, and (2) some conservative activists (e.g. Grover Norquist), who have a political interest in having taxes be as annoying as possible. Here's a good Slate article on this exact topic:

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2013/04/automatic_tax_filing_readyreturn_systems_work_fine_but_intuit_and_grover.html

 
 
Mar 6, 2014
@brian_e

[Its time to abolish the Federal Income Tax and implement a variable Federal Sales Tax. I say variable because certain items (such as Ferraris and yachts) should have a higher sales tax than others (like food and diapers).]

Well, thats the problem isnt it? We all agree the current system is broken but no one idea for how to fix it has enough support. I myself think a sales tax is a terrible idea and beleive the way to go is to have a simpler tax code.

BTW, the variable sales tax is, in fact, a reality. Its called a luxury tax.
 
 
Mar 6, 2014
This is the same government that mailed over a hundred fraudulant tax refund checks to a single address in China last year. Do you REALLY want them doing it?
 
 
+6 Rank Up Rank Down
Mar 6, 2014
Its time to abolish the Federal Income Tax and implement a variable Federal Sales Tax. I say variable because certain items (such as Ferraris and yachts) should have a higher sales tax than others (like food and diapers).

Not sure of all the issues with such as system, but can it really be worse than the Income Tax system?
 
 
Mar 6, 2014
Tempting thought, but come on, Scott. You're old enough to know thats not how it works. The government as a whole may have all your information but it doesnt know everything about you. By that I mean there is no one person in the government who knows everything about you, and even if Im wrong about that that one person doesnt work in the IRS. And that isnt going to change anytime soon. People dont want the IRS to know enough about them that they can do their taxes for them. For one thing, people want to be able to cheat and game the system. For another, this would require increasing the IRS budget substantially. And thirdly...do you think your accountant wants to be put out of a job? Do you think he and his fellow accountants arent supporting politicians that help keep them employed?
 
 
 
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog