I'm trying to imagine the context in which Biden's soul exam was delivered. Was it a State Dept !$%*!$%* party? A sauna adjacent to the Russian Parliament? Was Biden in charge of doing "soul checks" as world leaders entered the U.N.? Is Biden actually Satan, and Putin was trying to sell his soul a second time?
If you're going to present the news from your POV rather than a robots POV why not have Dogbert do it? Youd get the same effect, except you wouldn't have guys like me going on about how you're presenting it.