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It looks as if scientists will one day be able to manipulate genes to create super humans. I hope it happens soon.

http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2009/01/are-we-close-to.html


The thing that most interested me is the ability to borrow features from one species and embed them in another. I can't wait to get my tail and wings. Flying monkeys got a bad reputation from The Wizard of Oz, but I can't think of a cooler way to go. Obviously I wouldn't wear the bell hop costume, or even pants. But that's okay because I would be covered with fur, everywhere except for my genetically enhanced giraffe-style genitalia. I'd be giving up something in terms of aerodynamics, but you have to make tradeoffs.

I think most people would want to have wings if they had the option. But it would be a mistake to choose the form factor of a bird. You want to go with the monkey design for your fuselage so you get the gripping hands and feet. You don't want to have giraffe-style genitalia and nothing but two scratchy feet and a beak. That's just asking for trouble.

The most exciting part of this wonderful future is that when you can fly, the whole world is your toilet. You might want to avoid any homes that have anti-winged-monkey artillery, and there might be a lot of that in the future, but everywhere else is fair game.

Some people might manipulate their genes to become smarter. I think that's a mistake, especially after you become a winged monkey. The smarter you are, the more easily bored you will be. I want to be happy all the time so I'd trim 40% off my IQ and get some new hobbies such as collecting rocks that are roundish, or running for Congress.

Well, I can dream.

 
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Jan 23, 2009
The singularity won't be made of titanium and silicon. I will be flesh and bone like ours, only better. We will make better humans who will breed and engineer and make a generation better than they. Then those of us who a left are pretty much screwed.
 
 
Jan 21, 2009
Funniest post in weeks!!! maybe months!!!

I love when you write stuff like this.
 
 
Jan 21, 2009
Funniest post in weeks!!! maybe months!!!

I love when you write stuff like this.
 
 
Jan 21, 2009
Funniest post in weeks!!! maybe months!!!

I love when you write stuff like this.
 
 
Jan 21, 2009
I do not think that the more intelligent you are, the less happy you are--you need to adjust your expectations. I, for one, have so little in the way of expectations for anyone, that even being treated in a civil manner is almost shocking to me. True friendliness or kindness is to me is so surprising that is creates a feeling of euphoria in me. The secret is to in no way expect the same reaction or treatment ever again.
 
 
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Jan 21, 2009
On Jan 6 you posted a link to a cnbc story about you. This story had a link to Baron's article about you, published the same day, that revealed we should expect changes in the strip.... I surely didn't expect the strip would be used as a way to advertise your dilbertfiles.com service. Twice now.... That's really disappointing... It's borderline with abuse of trust, and surely leaves me with a bitter taste in the mouth.....
Considering the delay you said there is between drawing and publishing, I know you knew about this when you did the Baron's interview, and I guess you did the strips roughly at the time you launched the site. I guess it looked like a good idea at the time. Does it still?

[Relax...release your anger. Stay tuned. - Scott]
 
 
Jan 21, 2009
You'v never played Spore ? Its a game that allows you to create and manipulate creatures in any way you choose , so you can make flying monkies , though it requires some artistic skill to get the monkey part right.
 
 
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Jan 21, 2009
Fur and fecal matter are a bad combo. Think it through. There might be another zone where you'd eliminate fur.
 
 
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Jan 21, 2009
hahaha
Run for Congress due to low IQ?
Have you been watching one anti-religious comedy lately, Scott?

I.

PS. I personally would prefer gills to wings
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
Genitals are overrated. How about being able to achieve orgasm at will?

If popularity is the objective, I'd want to be able to emit substances that would cause orgasm in others, and in a way I'd be able to bestow orgasm to whomever I am pleased with.

Bird style wings capable of supporting a typical human weight would be huge and unwieldy, may be insect style flying mechanism would probably be more compact and portable. While it might not fly as fast, it has the ability to hover, which I guess would be more useful. The down side would be others telling you to bug/buzz off when you get annoying.

But if I really have a choice I'd probably pick flying the Jean Grey style by telekinesis. While we are on the X Men theme, I'd also want to be able to regenerate my body cells like Wolverine. I don't mind shapeshifting capabilities too.

On the issue of intelligence and happiness, I am in the opinion of true happiness or contentment is independent of our !$%*!$%*!$%*! and expectation. We could be happy if the !$%*!$%*!$%*! met or exceed our expectation, either by improving our !$%*!$%*!$%*!, or by decreasing our expectation (such as making ourself dumber). However humans are not wired to stay happy that way, once our expectations are met weld just move on, it's like chasing a mirage. I suspect people like Bill Gates has already figured this out. I believe he is more than capable of further pampering himself, and I don't believe he has tried making himself dumber either, but instead he chose to do what he does. (I think Scott has a blog entry saying roughly the same thing in the past)
 
 
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Jan 20, 2009
2 quick things spring out.

1. Yes bones need to be lighter but if we are talking about growing wings wouldn't we avoid the whole weak bones thing by using a better substance?

2. Scientists and smart people do hang out at bars, it's just that after a few beers they become indistinguishable from the other schmoes.
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
i generally agree with intelligence making happiness more challenging, but it does give a small boost in dealing with greater challenges.

the problem is when awareness of imperfection outpaces capacity to change !$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$% is generally the case past about 90 iq. the happiest kid i went to school with was borderline book retarded, but he had an emotional iq of 200.

as for boredom, that has a lot of truth but as another poster stated, you dont see a lot of scientists at bars or jerry springer show. they are interested in things, just not old hat stuff that still fascinates the simpleton.

in general it makes conversation difficult and intelligence is a bell curve so it only gets worse as you approach einstein or a rock. small minds discuss people(paris hilton), average minds discuss events(obama inauguration/ww2), great minds discuss ideas like future possibilities and abstract concepts like liberty and purpose.

for the most part i judge scott adams mind to be most interested in last part. he delves into lower categories for purpose of gathering empirical data, just to visit though so he has something to work with in higher planes of thought.

that happy retard would still face difficulty making small talk though, as 99% of population would want different topics of discussion. eq more than made up difference, and it gave people a chance to let their neocortex rest for a minute. low stress for them and he had uplifting emotions to rub off, as well as cool factor as part of incrowd. if something bored him he just moved on. people loved him and he had zest for life.

its crazy how life turns out and you see what characteristics really determine success, its not what they tell you in elementary school.
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
If I remember my college biology correctly, in order to fly, and not have to have hollow bones like birds do, we'd need need really huge wings.

So while the insulation of monkey fur for higher altitudes would be nice, I'm going to drop the fur, add horns, and go for the balrog look.
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
Zuluwarrior,

don't be hating on Oprah - if it weren't for her we'd be inaugurating Hillary today instead of Obama. it used to annoy me that my wife is a devout "Oprah-ist" - that was until I watched the "best life 2009: sex" episode w/her last week where she basically said "have more/have better - it's good for you!" and the sex therapist/expert guest suggested women look into stripping classes to get over their body image issues (sorry, honey, but the Pope has spoken and is infallible...)

I've always been more of a "Beatles-ist" myself (John/Paul said it/I believe it/that settles it!) but I gotta say I'm considering converting... remember: in the future (according to Futurama) the two dominant "mainstream" religions will be Oprah-ism and Voodoo... ;-)
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
Your imagination (and conversion of that to wit is wonderful.

Do you generically believe that the smarter you are the harder it is to be happy? (I do.)
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
To get any creature off the ground on their own into the air requires lightweight and fewer bones with some even hollow. A few strokes the wrong way doing anything can cripple. Flying things are fragile. Millions of years of evolution is one heck of a test lab and mother nature often screws up but eventually it works in the long run. Gravity is an unforgiving bear. Wanting to fly is hard wired in the human brain but its is a case of better watch out what you wish for.
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
I want a prehensile tail so that I can type and use my mouse at the same time. Also, it would be fun to use it to swing from a tree.
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
I think I'd go for gills over wings. And webbed hands/feet. Yeah, that's the ticket. Swimming without bulky diving equipment is just like flying anyway (or would be if you didn't have to worry about where your gasp of air was coming from).

The massive schlong is still a possibility.
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
I care more about things that can actually help me, rather than my unborn descendants. Seriously, the human species could go extinct the day after I die, and I would be incapable of caring or even knowing. So, lets look at ways to manipulate my genome and alter me (for the better) today. That will even help my hordes of offspring (that are the result of some of those improvements).
 
 
Jan 20, 2009
[I guess you weigh that and the chance that we'll all become werewolves against a shot that makes everyone cancer proof. ]

So it's a win/win?
 
 
 
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