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By now you've probably heard the news about the prankster who gave his "friend" a huge penis tattoo on his back.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/27/australian-artist-charged_n_774608.html

My immediate reaction was that this story could be turned into the greatest case study of all time. It contains most of what I learned in business school and half of what I learned from my parents. It is the ultimate parable. Let's open the valve and see what valuable lessons spill out.

Don't make decisions while drunk. The story doesn't say alcohol was involved. But did I mention that one guy tattooed a giant penis on the other guy's back?

Stay in school and get good grades. Again, the story was silent on the academic achievements of the people involved, but did I mention that one guy tattooed a penis on the other guy's back?

Test first. Start with something small, such as a leprechaun on an ankle, just to see how the business relationship works out.

Supervision matters. If an employee unexpectedly volunteers for a project that can only be performed behind your back, something bad is going to happen.

Capitalism never sleeps. If someone offers you a free service, you should be suspicious of what he expects to get in return.  It might involve, for example, your friend laughing himself into a near coma.

Jerks never change. The tattoo artist didn't suddenly become a jerk when he started drawing a penis on his friend's back. I'm going to say the signals were there.

Credentials matter. If you're in the market for a brain surgeon, don't stop when you find a guy who owns a saw.

Network smartly. If there is even the slightest chance that your friend will misspell a gay insult that he secretly tattoos on your back, it's time to broaden your network of friends.

Don't believe product reviews. An accomplice of the prankster praised the artwork as it was being drawn.

Solicit opinions from others. Before you decide to get any sort of permanent marking on your back from an unlicensed tattoo artist, find out what other people think of the idea.

I could go on. I think you could build an entire law school curriculum around this case. And I'm pretty sure it would replace a bachelor's degree in marketing and advertising, unless you think you'll ever forget the story of the penis tattoo prank.

My point is that every school should build its curriculum around the story of the penis tattoo.  In grade school the kids could learn about the importance of good spelling, resisting peer pressure, and staying in school.  In graduate school, students could learn the legal, economic, and psychological implications of the story. It's all there, like some sort of fabulous gift from God.

But I'm a little bit suspicious why we got it for free.

 
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0 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 2, 2010
C'mon Scott. !$%*!$%*! not a bad word!
 
 
-3 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 2, 2010
"Got Ambition? Got a !$%*!$% Business Idea? Then Click-On Over to, !$%*!$%*!$%*!$ The Web's most Redonkulously Portalicious Way to Achieve the Business of Your Dreams!"
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
@ mellowman: wild assumption you're making there. What makes you believe so? Interesting. Well, everyone is welcome to their own impressions obviously.

I'm actually indeed much better off in quite a number of ways. The previous position was in the chemical industry and was rather limited in both, scope and development potential for me. Now I'm in market research for the government for lack of a better word. It does sound a bit boring from the outside I reckon but it is the kind of job that wasn't really on my radar and only the previous experience paved the way. It lets me combine my greatest strengths and interests and I can be passionate about it. It does require skill sets I would have otherwise only be able to apply in private, so that's an added benefit.

I hope you like your life, too.
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
oh, and some things aren't mellow, man!
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
Sorry Scott, but I find it sick to laugh about the boy's hassle's. Of course, the media will rush to highlighting such a story but it's cheap-o and a bit of a herd instinct. I know, it's easy to rush ahead and join the ones laughing but I think it deserves more respect to say the tattoo "artist" is a nutcase and three ounces of chili into the mouth of those who claim this is funny. I know, this sounds extreme, but it just bugs me, when people rush ahead to beat someone else over the head just because

1) they're not sturdy enough to stand up against it
2) they !$%* their pants that the same happens to them as well.

Too many examples in history that teach us: early refusal helps.

Amen.
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
Shows once more that artists don't play by the rule. Man, they're free spirits! That's the whole point!

Jorgborg: you sound worse off than before not better in my opinion. Seeking out the rosy perspective, eh?
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
Don't feed the troll. But the whistleblower.
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
So while not necessary making him a prankster it made him a
p*r*i*c*k*s*t*e*r
 
 
Oct 29, 2010
In my prior career I also had a pointy haired boss MBA penis on my back all the time. His name was likewise Richard.

Only that his MBA was fake pretense, the alumni board said he never got one, he was a full fledged psychopath who had colluded in treason with co-directors to destroy the business basis and lifetime's work of one of his major customers (online case can be printed). Who then went bankrupt. So as he ultimately couldn't quite restore his reputation in that company he ended up in mine. And made MY life miserable. What a shyster! While it wasn't necessarily the ultimate WOW experience I ended up richer in many ways.

Some companies one wouldn't want to be associated with EVER again.

And guess what: their sales for the countries I took charge of went down significantly after I left.

Bom - chica wow wow...!

LOL
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
Here's another deviant prankster in the news today:
A hotel in the Maldives is expressing remorse today after a YouTube video emerged showing a couple being cursed at in the worst of ways during a ceremony to commemorate their love. The only thing is, they didn't know it. Though their ceremonial guide appeared solemn, in the Dhivehi language he was actually spewing insults and profanity in sexual and religious terms, reports AFP.
The couple paid $1,300 for the 15-minute ceremony to renew their marriage vows. They bowed bowed their heads in prayer and followed the ministers instructions, even exchanging rings in the end to the applause of hotel staff. All along, they were being called "swine," "infidels," and receiving advice about having sex with chickens. See the video, with subtitled offensive language:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpGWrDPSIVw
 
 
+5 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 28, 2010
Funny, in my prior corporate career, I had a pointy MBA penis on my back all the time.

As well, his name was Richard. Really, can't make this stuff up.

Until my escape, I had to laugh in order not to cry or think that this illogical hierarchy was the new normal. That was in the early 90's, and Dilbert was proof I wasn't alone in this corporate twilight zone.

Scott, if you see this, thanks. Your comic really was a island of sanity for me.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
The price we pay is having to think about a giant penis tattoo on a guys back.
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 28, 2010
We're not getting it "for free".

The charge for reading/hearing/otherwise osmosing this story from any given news source is, you have to read that news source. It's one of those meaningless bits of candy they throw in to keep your attention, which is what they then sell on to advertisers and professional propagandists. In short, it's exactly like the "free" drinks you get when you go to a marketing seminar.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
If the "victim" would have had an iPhone, this wouldn't have happened. There's an app for that.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
Hey. This message is for Scott Adams. I've got an idea for Dilbert. You may have already done one along these lines, if so please disregard. A guy takes a new job and the pointy haired boss leads him to a cube where a large rock sits. The boss announces that the rock will be the new employees mentor. Just run with it. I don't need any creds. If I see it, you'll know that I know.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
Ugh, OK, now I've read the original article. Site wouldn't load.

This doesn't scream prankster but bully BS. Golden rule #1: don't tattoo a penis on someone else's back if you don't want to get one inked to your forehead.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
"...it's time to broaden your network of friends". The old saying is that you can choose your friends, but you can't choose family. In practice - bogus. The whole assumption here is that the tattoo artist was the bigger jerk... might not be the case - birds of a feather stick together. Of the pool of people willing to be this guy's friend, the tattoo artist might have been the most benign.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
Now, drawing on Dennis Miller, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but... is this some sort of auto-erotic hypnotism over and over repeating the word p...illow?

Of course, this is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
This made me think of an unrelated joke, the punchline of which is: "if you give it a minute, that tattoo will spell ADIDAS."
 
 
Oct 28, 2010
Best quote from the original article:

"I don't think it's the tatoo you were after."

(I nominate this for "Understatement of the Year")
 
 
 
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