I plan to start hoarding supplies soon. There should be some big riots after the election. Here's a sequence of events and conditions that would lead to rioting. Do you see anything on the list that isn't likely?
  1. The economy stays bad for a another month
  2. Obama has a clear lead in the polls before election day
  3. McCain wins anyway. While the real reason for the polling discrepancy will be racism, there will be a widespread belief that the election was rigged. And there will be plenty of real and imagined evidence that it was.
  4. Riots will break out, partly out of genuine anger, partly to get that new flat screen TV.

We know the country can get past one suspicious Presidential election, because it did exactly that with Gore versus Bush. But two in a row would turn even normal citizens into conspiracy theorists. Given the anxiety over the economy, concerns about abortion rights, and the continuing wars, you have a perfect storm for revolution.

Interestingly, the only person who could stop the riots would be Obama himself.

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +7
  • Print
  • Share


Sort By:
Oct 18, 2008
I don't know about revolution. I think you're underestimating the laziness and complacency of America. Yeah, we do violence and indignation, but we're not a fundamentally idealistic country. We're whiny and lazy. Revolution is a lot of work, and it would require that a significant portion of the country could agree on something. Which we can't. Ideologically, we're severely fractured, which is the root of many national problems.
Oct 18, 2008
in lieu with your comic today : "Teach a man to build a fire and he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"
Oct 18, 2008
Well, yes there are other possibilities for each projected event and condition.

The economy is basically in a recession during the election and for the first quarter or two of '09 as the housing market improves. There is increased demand brought about by no new building and foreclosed property are now closer to realistic prices. Investors back off leaving the homes to be owner occupied. Old mortgages are mostly paid back to investors. Several financialo industry ex CEOs, CFOs and COOs spend time in federal facilities. The government recovers a good portion of its bail out/rescue money with some chance of even a a small profit.

When the mortgage market and credit stabilizes Wall Street then picks up activity fueled by the under priced blue chip bargain stocks. Inflation slows down and the dollar strengthens as the balance of payment gap is narrowed by a weak Euro, Pound and Yen.

OPEC's attempts to drop production to stabilize prices fails because serious conservation and renewable energy efforts in the US and abroad. A renewed Detroit is now mass producing compeitive high mileage smart cars.

Obama lost in one of the largest turn out elections in American history with little evidence that the election was rigged. The undecideds and the borderline states went dramatically republican. Many did not want both the congress and Presidency controlled by one party.

The pullout in Iraq out continues as scheduled and even the new Civil War there is considered a religious conflict among the traditional factions and beliefs that has been going on there for thousands of years.

Afghanistan becomes the focus of renewed manhunt for Asama Ben Laden and his henchmen. Pakistan joins NATO to wipe out the insurgency. Iran gets a nuclear power plant on line.

Riots do not break out as times are improving and Americans realize that democracy, though slow and messy, still prevails and is the best system in the world.

There will always be conspiratorialist but they are considered opportunist looking for their 15 minutes of fame and fizzle out. Roe vs Wade is not overturned the Court is still divided with no new appointments coming up that will change the picture for the foreseeable future.

McCain dies in office of natural cause and president Pallin with the nation's blessing does a great job stepping in and is reelected again on her own.

Obama is made ambassador to the UN and eventually becomes Secretary General and garners worldwide approval of his tenure there.

All or part of this this just a likely to happen......
Oct 18, 2008
One of your recurring themes is how no idea is original. I found a handful of similar theories after writing mine ( http://impend.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/war-of-wikipedia/ ), and it's interesting to see so many people postulating how McCain will win due to redistricting, voter purging, and other tricks. If Republican election stealing is common knowledge (it was even mentioned a few times on The Simpsons), why isn't more being done to stop it?
Oct 18, 2008
There was never a "stolen" election, just sour grapes. When Onbama loses, it will because we reject socialism. Besides,the loss to McCain won't be because Republicans went out and regerstered illegible and mysterious voters. It is not Republican groups trying to get people to register multiple times.
If Obama wins, (doubtful) Republicans don't riot.
Oct 18, 2008
To any doubters that Obama is a US-born citizen, go to http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthcertificate.asp
Oct 18, 2008
If there are riots, the election will be just the excuse to start them. Local news will cover them without spin as they quickly degenerate into smiling people of all races looting stores in a carnival atmosphere - and well prepared gangs will set multiple fires to create kaos and tie up emergency services - so they can empty pre-determined businesses - mainly gun stores and electronics stores. The anger phase does not last long. The greedy party part lasts for days.

If you are honest and live in a nice neighborhood near a riot, don't expect the cops to answer your call. Organize the neighbors and set up roadblocks to keep predatory gangs out. When they see you are armed and look serious, they will turn around and look for easier targets. They are looking for an easy score - not a firefight.

The further away the press is, the more they will treat it as all about whatever the original excuse was. It really is mostly about the "free stuff". A combination Christmas and Mardi Gra. It isn't much about politics - left or right.
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 18, 2008
Of course the constitution doesn't get updated that fast, but I like my dream of Arnold the President, so I pick and choose with my fun delusions. However as to...

I wouldn't vote for Obama if he lied about where he was born.

Uhhhh... I don't know anyone who knows where they were born. I know people who have been TOLD where they were born, but it's not the same thing as knowing it for yourself because uhhhh... you're an infant at the time, with virtualy no cognitave abilities.

All he has to go off of is what his Mom told him, or maybe what his Grandmother told him. That this here slip of paper means you were born in Hawaii. I'd imagine he believes he was born in the US, and just because a couple other people on the net don't like his birthcertificate doesn't mean anything. Hell, the US government didn't like my birth certificate. I tried to get a passport and they told me "No, this is not a valid birth certificate." It was the certificate my Mom and Dad recieved when I was born, it had the embossed punch in it and everything, but I had to get my certificate reissued to get a passport.

I don't think he's lying about his birthplace (although I do think it would be great fun if he was, media circus baby!) he's just saying he really doesn't care what random right wing blogger has to say about his origins, and feels no need to prove that he is who he is.
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 18, 2008
To suggest that the animals would only riot if their guy loses is to ignore recent history. Look what happens when one of their teams wins a major sports contest. Detroit, Oakland, even Toronto. I think you are right to prepare for rioting, but I think it is inevitable no matter who wins. Desire for those flat screen TV's aren't a minor motivation, either.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 18, 2008
A more likely scenario is that Obama wins the election, but is later declared ineligible because he is not a "natural born citizen" as is required by the constitution--------------8<-------------President Elect. Obama could then rightly claim to have the will of the people on his side but the he is being denied on a technicality.

'Causing congress to quickly amend the constitution an an effort to avoid riots and avoid the further decay of national stability, paving the way for President Schwarzenegger, and a Demolition Man future...

Now I want Obama to win. Voting would be just too hard for a wishy washy person like me.
Oct 17, 2008
As a registered Republican, I find the choice of candidates in this election very depressing, and intend to make a third party protest vote for President, but never mind that right now.

The rumblings from the left that a McCain victory would be proof of voter fraud, simply show their own contempt for the democratic process. Look, I think a legitimate Obama victory is probable, but McCain is actually trying to win, as he should. Given slight inaccuracies in the polls, and unforseeable opinion changing events between now and November, it's entirely possible that the Republicans could win. Are they supposed to throw the election to avoid accusations that they stole it? Are they supposed to be intimidated by threats of violence if they win? What kind of democratic election would that be?

If , after this election, there is serious evidence that either side won as the result of voter fraud, then we'll have to face it and deal with it. But let it be actual hard evidence, not the B.S. that we saw in 2000 and 2004.
+4 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 17, 2008
I, for one, welcome the local warlords who will soon govern us.
Oct 17, 2008
<jvnm> wrote: 'Or do you mention that because Obama is not white? Jerk.'

Oct 17, 2008
Fortunately, rioting tends to happen when the weather is warm, and tempers get shorter. Watts is the famous one, of course, August 65. Rodney King and Martin Luther King were April - May.

Maybe there's wisdom in having election day in November.

"Interestingly, the only person who could stop the riots would be Obama himself ?"
And of course he would. Just as Al Gore attempted to heal the divide over that decided election.

-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 17, 2008
Tragimishap wrote: 'A more likely scenario is that Obama wins the election, but is later declared ineligible because he is not a "natural born citizen" as is required by the constitution. ...'

Given that John McCain was born in Panama, we're screwed either way.

Or do you mention that because Obama is not white? Jerk.
Oct 17, 2008
ok.ok. the subject matter of this blog is riots. But can we please have a blog about the forthcoming race war (albeit NOT pluasable, but certainly posible)?! Please....pretty please?
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 17, 2008

Thanks for putting your biases up front for everyone to see them. That's all I wanted to see. It must be fun to live in a world where you can believe that all people who think like you do are virtuous and pure while all who don't are violent and irrational.
Oct 17, 2008
I am going to shave my head again for the first time in...uh...16 years. Im all for the race war part. Lets get it on. I may even go back to L.A. to participate. I live in North Nevada now so I can keep my weapons and can care less of your religions. But there is not enough of the dark races here to have any real impact on the population.
Lets do the race war thing before we Nukem. woohoo
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 17, 2008
"two in a row"

What was Kerry, chopped liver?
Oct 17, 2008
I read your "President McCain" piece a few months ago and agreed. And I was just about to ask what your thoughts were now since it seems like McCain has dropped a bit. I don't know about riots, but man, that would be a scene...
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog