Jul 31, 2009 General Nonsense |
As regular readers know, I believe that the most likely explanation for our existence is that we're holographic computer simulations created by humans who came before us. And we don't appear to be randomized. It seems as if there are clear themes to every life, as if we are programmed that way.

For example, one of my themes is that most of my technology is defective. Here's a sample just from today:

Fax machine receives but doesn't send

DVD drive on computer doesn't recognize discs

DVD player puts white spots on movies

DVR freezes and locks on every recording

Movie editing software I just purchased is too slow to use

Fedex website is unfathomable

TV has a bad color wheel

Postal meter needs a battery

Computer backup (new) slows my system to a crawl all day

Wireless router doesn't work

Computer keeps locking up

Can't get rid of an ad that keeps popping up on new laptop

Old laptop stopped working months ago

Blackberry won't sync with my Outlook address book

Car has a warning light on the dashboard that the dealer can't turn off
This blog software doesn't let me do numbered lists

It has always been this way for me. It's a theme. And speaking of themes, check out the Dilbert themes for igoogle


Look how I cleverly worked that in. Anyway, my point today is that you can often predict the future from themes. If you had done a poll two months ago and asked people to predict how Michael Jackson would die, I think many of you would have nailed it.

If a young Kennedy someday runs for president again, I think we all know how that will end too. The only mystery is whether it will happen by gunfire or in some sort of flying, floating, or roadway mishap. And I will go out on a limb and predict there would be rumors of infidelity.

Another theme is financial bubbles. While there are no obvious bubble candidates on the horizon, I predict there will be another one soon. That's simply a theme.

You can try this at home. Pick a theme and make a prediction of the future. I will add another prediction that some of you will complain about the crass commercialism in this post.

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Aug 6, 2009
@wmertens I'm sure that owning a mac would resolve Scott's fax machine issue, DVD player issue, DVR player issue, TV issue, car problems, and wireless router issue...

I would say that Scott has the very issue he's complaining about, a recurring technology-problems theme. I have none of those problems even though I use Windows-based machines. (actually, I have a mac and linux machine, too... have to hand it to apple, ignoring the huge software deficiency on a mac, it's grade-A in every respsect).
Aug 4, 2009
It looks like you're not using a Mac. I do, and I have none of those computer issues.
Aug 3, 2009
wider community
My theme is a frustration - I am handy - but I am constantly dealing with cords, air hoses, and the like - that either tangle or get snagged on my tool belt, corner of a house, or what . . . I am a large boned person but not yet a member of the 'wider' community.
Aug 3, 2009
Need some help? ;) Maybe I can teach Jo some IT work and she can be your tech guru...
Aug 3, 2009
The next financial bubble will be in emerging market equities.
Aug 3, 2009
Here's another theme:
Tons of idiots forget a cornerstone of economics, this causes a bubble, eventualy the bubble pops, the economy goes down the tubes, and all the people who were smart and understood basic math will be the people who have to fix it.

If you think that this is stupid, here's 4 incedents where it happened:
1. great depression: people forgot the basics of manipulating the stock market
2. dot-com meltdown: people forgot that companys need actual income
3. the economic problems just after the american revolution: people forgot that small states like rhode island can't get together enough money to pay for a 1/13 of the debt "our crippling debt is another theme"
4. current problem: people forgot that you shouldn't borrow or lend money if you know that it's impossible for it to be payed back.

This happens so often that on occasion it makes me doubt the existence of time itself.
Aug 2, 2009
Predictions on themes:

There will be unrest in the middle east
Managers will get dumber (And they will be paid more)
We will be taxed more

See how easy it is?
Aug 2, 2009
"The perversity of the inanimate tends to a maximum." Now that the inanimate is becoming animate, we can expect orders of magnitude of more perversity.
Aug 1, 2009
Nice. I understand how the Google Dilbert theme works in with your broken technology. I tried it and the colors were so gaudy they looked like they were picked by a colorblind monkey. I had to go back to my old theme.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 1, 2009
Get yourself attached to a grounding strap every time you touch anything electronic (i.e. all the time).
Obviously your magnetic personality is simply too much for lesser objects to handle.

On a side note, electronic things requiring batteries really isn't a defect, per se.

For your dashboard warning light, the dealer CAN fix it, he just doesn't think you'll pay the bill for his mechanic to spend 18 hours looking for the cause. In the meantime, try a small square of electrical tape, placed gently over the offending light. Replace as required.

You're welcome.
Aug 1, 2009
Yesterday I:

-Watched a movie on a TV with perfect color
-Recorded and watched a show on PVR without problems
-Used my 5yr old laptop, which works fine with my 1yr old wireless router, plays dvds, and syncs to my new phone

Maybe the problem is you?
Aug 1, 2009

One. Try
Two. making
Three. your
Four. numbered
Five. lists
Six. like this.

You're welcome.

+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 1, 2009
I have a packaging deficiency. I can't open any package without somehow messing up the contents. Recent examples: slashing the windshield wipers, exploding the cereal box, punctured hand on a staple from a furniture box. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mechanically deficient.. I can work on cars, remodel houses, and fix pc's. I just can't get the goods out of the box to perform these activities.

Some days I feel like an astronaut who's locked the keys in the space shuttle.
Jul 31, 2009
I had an iMac too. New, glossy, huge. 2K.
Back to Apple Store...refund city.

"It just works" is a crock.
All OS's and computers have problems..some just have great marketing campaigns.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jul 31, 2009
What is the next bubble? The market for US debt. I thought most people had already identified that one.
Jul 31, 2009
"Can't get rid of an ad that keeps popping up on new laptop" - scott

Try spybot, adaware, and crapcleaner. If that doesn't work, go with hijackthis. Even if they don't fix it, they should figure out what you've got so you can find out how to fix it on the internet.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jul 31, 2009
My prediction: Scott Adams will use his blog to try different ways of suggesting vegetarianism and denying the theory of evolution to the masses. Whether he really believes this or just likes to mess with people's heads will not be certain.

On a more serious note, all I can say is - people will be people. As in your examples, well-known celebrities will die of drug overdoes, powerful men will commit infidelity and die suspiciously, and misinformation and greed will fuel stock market bubbles.

To add my own generalisms - politicians will be corrupt, people in important jobs will be incompetent, and the pope will be catholic.

To give a specific prediction - I would guess the USA will get involved in another war for political/economic reasons (rather than self-defence or defence of allies) within the next decade or two.

Jul 31, 2009
Really all comes down to people doing their job. If everyone did, then things would run smoother. Pride in workmanship is dwindling with each passing generation.
Jul 31, 2009
I followed your link to iGoogle. I followed the link there back to Dilbert.com.

I found the theme!!! - Circular reasoning!!!
Jul 31, 2009
Gadgets and economies don't work right because they're made by humans, and humans are fallible.

Either you disagree, and expect humans to be able to build perfect systems, or might as well say "things fall down" is a theme.
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