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The hardest part about writing is capturing your own (or someone else's) inner thoughts. For example, if I ask you to tell me something funny or frustrating about your job, you'd give me tales of coworkers eating your food from the break room fridge, or tell me your boss is incompetent. But those aren't thoughts, just observations. We seem to store memories in terms of actions and some broad emotions, but not thoughts. And it is the thoughts you generally don't voice that make writing interesting.


Let's test this. In the comments section, tell me what you were DOING immediately before reading this blog, and also tell me what you were THINKING about while you did it. If you can do both of those things, you are halfway to being an interesting and humorous writer.


For example, "I was answering an e-mail from my coworker Karl while thinking he won't understand my answer because he has an unusually small head that probably can't hold much of a hat much less a brain."


Your turn.

 
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Feb 6, 2009
I was watching/listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers' infamous "Under the Bridge" performance on SNL in 1992 (http://blip.tv/file/325228). As I listened I thought what an amazingly colorful journey it must have been to be in that band from inception to date. What a wild ride they all must have been on. The drugs, the !$%*!$% the adoring fans, the eccentric fellow musicians, the money - all the amalgamated experiences along the way must make for one HELLUVA perspective.

And then, naturally, my egoic mind compared my boring cubicle life to the experiences of Chili Peppers, and I felt sad. I felt like I was wasting it all away, underwriting loans. I began to well up with a feeling of intense loneliness and apathy. So I decided to come to the Dilbert Blog to get my mind off of !$%*! God damn.

 
 
Nov 23, 2008
It's Sunday morning and I was sitting on the toilet with a copy of the "Power of your subconscious mind" thinking "Please, please let me have this bowel movement before my wife comes in here wanting the bathroom". It didn't happen, so here is sit in front of the computer wondering why the invocation of the power of my subconscious mind on my bowels didn't result in a expedient movement.
 
 
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Jun 11, 2008
Here's one for you..

I was stuffing envelopes, and my mind wandered to thinking about underpants. :)

A bit of my background - I'm a theatrical person, and am doing costumes for a current show. It's based in Classical Greek history (Helen of Troy), and the guys need historical underpants...

I have a strange mind. ;)
 
 
Jun 3, 2008
I was checking showtimes at the movie and thinking I like ice cream
 
 
Jun 2, 2008
I was correcting a "little" probem with my external harddisk, thinking at the same time: What the heck really happened after my PC disgorged the message: "Errorcode 10: Device does not respond"?

My frustrated search for information turned up with interesting, but useless bits, like the information that Microsoft uses generic Errormessages like this if a device didn´t come up with his own errormessages.

That left me wondering about how exactly does that work... Gives every single error from my poor messageless harddisk, regardless of the cause, the same message, or does the corresponding bit of code spit out messages randomly taken out of something like a list?

After that, I accidentally solved the problem and then I installed a game. Because even if THAT can be frustrating too, you get to play it afterwards.
 
 
May 25, 2008
Doing: Drinking chai and smoking a cigarette behind our Indian Pune office in Pune.

Thinking: First, that the chai walla's 5-year-old daughter (who sold me my cigarette) probably has boundless life experiences I shall never know due to my age and middle-class Canadian upbringing. Second, that it's incredibly likely my ADHD will prevent me from ever learning a musical instrument.
 
 
May 19, 2008
I was pulling out more paper towels than I needed to dry my hands with in the bathroom, because I take "Pull With Both Hands" as a challenge.
 
 
May 19, 2008
Busy reading through the blogs and chuckling, but my thoughts were, MAN a lot of co-workers have gone by my office and totally haven't noticed the drastic change in my hair, what's with that?
 
 
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May 19, 2008
I was starting a build under the 20th bloody environment I have to maintain for the same source code because my company worries about using an up-to-date compiler, while thinking that life's myriad complexities can be a real stumper.
 
 
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May 18, 2008
Eating lunch, and wondering where the dilbert blog had gone? also wondering why I have to employ so many moist robots!
 
 
May 17, 2008
I was posting a goofy picture of myself to my blog. I was thinking this is a way of affirming to my friends and myself that I am still here and feeling quite fine in spite of my recent cancer diagnosis.
 
 
May 16, 2008
Oh, ok.

Immediately before reading this blog, I was reading the old Dilbert blog, and I was wondering how it is possible that I check the blog every day, yet I only just noticed that is has moved to a new location.
 
 
May 16, 2008
Halfway to being an interesting and humorous writer? Why would I want to go back to being halfway there?
 
 
May 16, 2008
I'm writing this while think to do this right because my english writing is terrible. I'm from Brazil
 
 
May 15, 2008
I was upgrading my .NET Web Project from Visual Studio 2005 to Visual Studio 2008 while banging my head against the keyboard screaming how !$%*!$ up this process was.
 
 
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May 15, 2008
Just before reading your comments about thinking, i was sending an email to a manger. I had tried to call, but the phone was rolling over to auto-voicemail. It meant she was there on the phone, and since I couldn't get through, I figured hit her with a email before she got out of the office.

My thinking, she was on do not disturb and won't be taking calls, and will let the voice mail pile up. And today is payroll, so she had to get on her computer to process that, and my email would get to her sooner than voice mail.
 
 
May 14, 2008
I was reorganizing my bookmarks and trying to figure out a way to get laid pretty soon.
 
 
May 14, 2008
I was reading my daily share of web comics because I had just stepped out of a booooooring meeting, and I was thinking I need to pretend that I'm very busy so that people let me read my comics and the dilbert blog in peace
 
 
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May 14, 2008
Hi Scott,
This new blog page and address is much better. I really appreciate getting to read your blog for free. its really a lot of food for thought.
and, i liked this blog, 'your secret thoughts'. you have captured the essense of capturing thoughts (or self-talk) really well within a paragraph.
i would like to ask you something, have you read / practised CBT or REBT (cognitive behavior therapy / rational emotive behavior therapy) ??
keep it up... and keep probing... the world needs more of it, though inclination to think / reason seems to reduce.
your blog & dilbert strip are rays of hope...
 
 
May 14, 2008
I was reading the latest cartoon by Mike Peters---the one where Bush says he's
"I quit golf because of the Iraq war"--and the next frame, a voice from a casket with
a US flag on it says "So did I" I was also thinking--looking at Bush--"stupidity is hard
to hide."
 
 
 
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