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The hardest part about writing is capturing your own (or someone else's) inner thoughts. For example, if I ask you to tell me something funny or frustrating about your job, you'd give me tales of coworkers eating your food from the break room fridge, or tell me your boss is incompetent. But those aren't thoughts, just observations. We seem to store memories in terms of actions and some broad emotions, but not thoughts. And it is the thoughts you generally don't voice that make writing interesting.


Let's test this. In the comments section, tell me what you were DOING immediately before reading this blog, and also tell me what you were THINKING about while you did it. If you can do both of those things, you are halfway to being an interesting and humorous writer.


For example, "I was answering an e-mail from my coworker Karl while thinking he won't understand my answer because he has an unusually small head that probably can't hold much of a hat much less a brain."


Your turn.

 
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May 14, 2008
I was reading the dilbert comic strip online when I heard the coffee maker girgling away while it made a fresh pot of coffee. Mmmm. Coffee.
 
 
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May 14, 2008
I was fending off a cold-calling salesman trying to sell my workplace a new security system. I try to be gentle to telephone salespeople as I've been there and done that: I know it's a lousy miserable way of making a living and I don't want to add to the job-dissatisfaction of a fellow prole in a crap job.

Rather than disturb my own line-manager when there was no need to (she's been cooped up in her own office for half an hour doing stuff, which I approve of as it isn't making work for me) I suggested to TSP that he ring the Estates Manager at our head office as he is the God who may grant or deny such prayers/contracts.

As the TSP was not a young and attractive female, I did not give the Estates' Manager's direct line, but rather that of thr front reception desk: on the grounds that if he could talk his way past our resident Carol, he has earned the right to make a sales pitch to a contracting manager.

Currently looking for things to do to spin out the morning until lunch. This is slightly more fun than filing blue copies in numerical order.
 
 
May 14, 2008
I was sitting at my desk writing an e-mail to a colleague to get some feedback from him. I was also thinking about how he's going to roll his eyes when he reads my mail because, although he didn't answer my question, he probably thinks it was a question that didn't deserve to be answered. I then stopped and modified the tone of the e-mail to induce the least amount of eye-rolling because even though he's an ugly bugger I wouldn't want to be the cause of his eyes rolling off.
 
 
May 13, 2008
Honestly, I was thinking about that Islamic terrorist attack at that Hindu Temple today in India where they worship the 'monkey god' and knowing in a previous blog how fun you thought that phrase was, I was wondering if you were going to blog about that horrible event today....with your slightly skewed yet somewhat sensitive way of getting some humor out of such a tragedy.

That is what I was wondering....
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was editing a book written by a non-writer in my organization while cursing profanity under my breath for shoddy writing and at the same time feeling suicidal for several reasons not related to what I was doing.
 
 
May 13, 2008
Doing: Waiting for my laptop to shut down so I can put it away for the night.

Thinking: It's 1:30AM, and the powerpoint slides I just got done with are going to have to be completely redone when I get into the office tomorrow / later today, due to something I realized as I was finishing these ones.

Then my thought process was interrupted by needing to register, confirm, log in, and finally be able to write this stupid comment nobody is going to care about or even read.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I just came to work and was just checking all the blogs that I normally read. I was thinking that I should not waste more time today and get some work done!
 
 
May 13, 2008
Just before I read your blog entry, I was trying to find a media player that can play a m2ts HD file. And my thought process was... damn, is there no freeware that can play m2ts files without issues ? Hasn't HD been around long enough for someone to have gotten this support into a freeware player ?

People are getting lazy..... ;-)
 
 
May 13, 2008
Thoughts: Let's read Adams' blog. Do I have time for that? His entries are usually very long, not that that's a bad thing. He must really like writing. I find it amazing that he finds the time for this. Oh, this one looks interesting, and short. I have time before I pop in the Last King of Scotland. Is this CD done importing? Wait, why do I have to register for ANOTHER website to post a comment? Damn. . .
 
 
May 13, 2008
right before reading your blog i was aimlessly surfing the net. my thought process was... really need to brush my teeth but baby will wake up soon, yep, she's been asleep for over 2 hours, any minute now, i can't believe he lets the cat lick his face, how gross, if i go in the bathroom she'll wake up, i can't believe this is my life...

it was something like that.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was lamenting how I've not read this blog seriously since it changed. Small text, hard to read, need to click a "comments" link to read comments, ugh.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
Hmm. I was eating my lunch at my desk. What I was thinking about right as I opened this blog was one of my staff who came in to get me to sign her timesheet and answered my phone as I had a moutful of sandwich. The person on the line was yet another person who cant read a job ad and was ringing up to ask questions that are clearly answered in the on line ad and attached PD. So I was thinking about going over to her and asking what the peanut's name was so when I get their application I can bin it straight away.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was trying to print a document in one of my company's China offices while thinking how a$$ backwards it is that no one at a technology firm could figure out how to print things (including IT, who we pay too much money to tell us they can't fix our problems).
 
 
May 13, 2008
Right before I read this blog I was watching Ghost Hunters, and I was thinking: I wonder if I can gather a group of spirits that scratch people randomly and just take them to my meetings at work with me. That would at least make the meeting more entertaining.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was registering so I could make this comment and thinking about how silly the registration process is. You have to retype your e-mail. Who would EVER do that instead of copying and pasting? If you type your e-mail wrong, you're stupid, and no retyping it will fix that.
 
 
May 13, 2008
Einstein and God
A letter from Einstein is being sold soon and in that letter he details his exact opinion of people who believe in God, I think you ought to check it out! How do we contact you now? I can't seem to find your email address, and I don't know who answers the 'contact us' email....

As far as your request goes, here is the best I can do at this time....

Right before I read your blog I was talking to two of my girlfriends, and while I really want to tell you what I was thinking I know that at least one of them reads your blog from time to time so I am not going to tell you what I was thinking.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was watching an anime on youtube and wondering whether the holiday I booked earlier on will turn out ok.
 
 
May 13, 2008
i was/am nursing my infant son who is mostly asleep, thinking - yay, asleep; but also please drink more before you're completely asleep, as I'm too full, and it really hurts; plus, no!, no! - stop with the teeth!

too much information? don't blame me - you asked
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was checking my myspace and thinking, "I check my myspace ten times as much as other users - that must make me a loser"
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I just was commenting the twittered announcement of a blogger colleague that he would stop blogging in his field of expertise, thinking that I know he meant to say something different (he would stop blogging about the obvious elements of this field, but not about the background, that is) and wondering if he'll ever understand I already knew he wouldn't really stop blogging. Now I wait for his response...

Also, I was just registering with this new blog site to be able to comment, thinking that it better work, because not a single of my copious number of comments ever showed up on the old blog site, rendering me quite angry for a while because I thought first Scot might be deleting comments from outside the U.S.

So, if this shows up, I'm happy, if not Ill go to bed grumpy.
 
 
 
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