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The hardest part about writing is capturing your own (or someone else's) inner thoughts. For example, if I ask you to tell me something funny or frustrating about your job, you'd give me tales of coworkers eating your food from the break room fridge, or tell me your boss is incompetent. But those aren't thoughts, just observations. We seem to store memories in terms of actions and some broad emotions, but not thoughts. And it is the thoughts you generally don't voice that make writing interesting.


Let's test this. In the comments section, tell me what you were DOING immediately before reading this blog, and also tell me what you were THINKING about while you did it. If you can do both of those things, you are halfway to being an interesting and humorous writer.


For example, "I was answering an e-mail from my coworker Karl while thinking he won't understand my answer because he has an unusually small head that probably can't hold much of a hat much less a brain."


Your turn.

 
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May 13, 2008
I had just finished reading the comic strip "Off the Mark" and was thinking although it was funny, it wasn't funny enough to send to my friends. I then was wondering if Rubes, which I had already cut-n-pasted into an email, was funny enough to send. Since I had indeed laughed out loud when I read Rubes, I decided to hit the send button, even though often my brand of funny doesn't equal other's brand of funny. Funny how that works. I then went to my favorites, and selected the Dilbert Blog. Since I'm on dial up at the moment, I got up and retrieved some electrical gloves for some work I'm getting ready to do, while the page downloaded. I set them down by the door just as I realized that before I do the electrical part of changing the valve, I need take care of some piping issue first, since that's going to be the hardest part. But maybe not, the piping is brass, and so there's no corrosion, and the unions should hopefully spin right off, if I'm lucky. I think I'll go to Subway for lunch today, lunch time is 90 minutes away, and I wonder if I can get this valve swapped out in that time. Oh the page has downloaded, I'll read the blog entry first.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was checking MSN.com and thinking I would like to move to Dallas, but I also don't want to go through the hassle of moving and finding a new job.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was grep-ing through log files trying to find out why some transactions did not pay correctly. Not thinking much besides why this was going so quickly when is should have been going much slower. Then I was Alt-TABing though the Windows and wondering why it was such a s-l-o-w news day. And blammo new Dilbert blog. I then immediately remembered the My Cat blog and thought that I still have to forward that to a couple of people.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was reading your previous blog entry and getting distracted by the excessive flash on the page (I dont want the *official* dilbert widget! And even if I did get it, the ad would still be there!)

I was thinking how gross it is to have a cat lick your face a moment after she licked her ass.

That cat somehow reminded me of Hillary Clinton.

Sid, India.
 
 
May 13, 2008
Someone who has got this inner thought thing nailed is a very funny Australian author called Nick Earls - he's one of my favourite authors. Try "Perfect Skin" first as I think it is his best work. People were looking at me because I was laughing out loud on the bus. Does that happen to anyone else?

Scott - Sorry if this is slightly off topic, but I thought the people posting here would enjoy this author :-)
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was reading an email from a particularly nice manager conveying the fact that the guy to whom our group's president reports to will be stopping by our office later this week, no meetings, just visiting. A warning, I figured, it will be interesting to see who doesn't remember or understand the point of the email and dress or act out of line while he is here. I love working for a large corporate global conglomerate with a frooglepoopillion levels of unnecessary management.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was noticing I posted 3 identical comments because my browser went all communist on me and I was thinking I'm one of the morons I just ranted about. Sorry everyone.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was talking with a colleague about our blog we started to share the funny and wonderful things we come across, but most importantly to rant and rave about the legions of idiots we meet in our daily lives and I was thinking that the blog is pretty hopeless since the mass of sibling humping morons will continue to multiply like a cancer across this planet until one day in the future the one common !$%*!$% cell they all have commands every one of them to simultaneously jam a knife in the nearest toaster.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was talking with a colleague about our blog we started to share the funny and wonderful things we come across, but most importantly to rant and rave about the legions of idiots we meet in our daily lives and I was thinking that the blog is pretty hopeless since the mass of sibling humping morons will continue to multiply like a cancer across this planet until one day in the future the one common !$%*!$% cell they all have commands every one of them to simultaneously jam a knife in the nearest toaster.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was talking with a colleague about our blog we started to share the funny and wonderful things we come across, but most importantly to rant and rave about the legions of idiots we meet in our daily lives and I was thinking that the blog is pretty hopeless since the mass of sibling humping morons will continue to multiply like a cancer across this planet until one day in the future the one common !$%*!$% cell they all have commands every one of them to simultaneously jam a knife in the nearest toaster.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I heard my boss tell someone he had to go into a meeting so I thought, "Good, now I can check the Dilbert blog without getting caught surfing the web." I then took a swig of my 44 oz diet pepsi, and set it back down. I looked at the soda thinking that I should have gotten the 64 oz size so that I'd have to go to the ladies room more often. I took another sip so I could have a reason to get up and walk to the bathroom once every half hour. I then heard someone's badge make the door lock click so I quickly brought up the spreadsheet I use to keep track of my hours to make me look busy because I've run out of work to do and it's the only non-internet or email thing I have up on my computer.

Pretty exciting day so far...
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was reading about infants having cross gender desires while thinking about what a colleague of mine was doing online... she is never online after work hours... or wait, was it a he...?
 
 
May 13, 2008
I forwarded a note to a friend who works for EDS/HP (alphabet du jour) with the addition of 'Thought you could use a good chuckle' - awesome anecdote about Southern Hospitality and ATL Air Traffic Controllers. It's a bit un-PC so I won't include it (unless enough ask for it).
 
 
May 13, 2008
Me? Well, i was in Facebook, forwarding a funny Funwall post to my other friends. What I was thinking was that I really need the bog.

Would you call that multi-tasking?
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was reading a blog about politics...and thinking about what the upcoming schedule looks like at the college that I work at...
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was creating a complicated diagram to explain the function of a piece of software that, for bureaucratic reasons, my company has not yet seen fit to let me use. I was trying to decide if I should make it a ludicrous failure, to call attention to the stupidity of denying me access to the one tool that would guarantee my success. But I decided that was too aggressively passive-aggressive.
 
 
May 13, 2008
Tuesday, after lunch - I have just listened to the afternoon repeat of the The Archers (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/archers/) and now trying figure out how to get Outlook working again - arghhhh!

I'm gonna have to have a pretty serious slap around the face soon to stop myself looking at my RSS feed every 5 minutes (yeah, more like every minute) and actually get round to doing something - but then I wouldn't have seen the Dilbert blog entry pop up. Ho-hum.
 
 
May 13, 2008
Doing: Reading today's Dilbert strip

Thinking: Glad I'm more respected than Asok, and perhaps I shouldn't pretend to haze my interns so much... nah.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was running the calculation in a spreadsheet so that my data would be copied over to the other sheet so that I could then add additional data to that 2nd sheet. I was thinking about how frustrating it is that it takes longer to finish calculating than I actually spend entering data. I was also thinking that if I didn't spend so much time waiting for the calculation I could probably squeeze in a quick Excel course and figure out a better way. Sigh. And of course, I was bemoaning the fact that the reason I have to update these spreadsheets is that the high-ranking corporate types are very bad at following simple, explicit directions. Oh well, it's job security, I guess.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was taking a whizz and thinking about whether God was angry at me or do I just need to get more excercize in my daily life. I assume the latter to be the case. Here I go!
 
 
 
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