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nahkaimurrao .. when you actually are asking a question about someones current wellbeing, they might feel obliged to ACTUALLY answer.. the person asking does thereby "provoke" them BY asking.. just as "how does an airplane work" just MIGHT get a longer answer than "it flies"..
a long (long) time ago I used to answer "fine" aswell, but I felt like a hypocrite and a lier.. but I still due to "social convension" didn't feel like givving a long answer, so i changed it to "rotten".. that didn't work because everyone felt compelled to ask about it, and I didn't feel like starting the most people I meet with describing what's wrong with my life.. (I felt like I was repeating myself too often, and also like I wasn't letting myself any leeway to not think about it)..
My compromise that I finally landed on; "Well, I'm alive".. It's the only way out I have found.
Assuming that everyone is okay is not only presumptious, but it actually makes you a jerk the times you meet someone who is having a bad time. Either we get preassured to lie, or we are doing something wrong for actually replying to the VERY QUESTION ASKED.
It's even more annoying to get this question from people who know me well enough to know that I am not in a good place right now.. I mean.. if I actually meet someone, and it makes me glad that I met them... It's a short shallow joy, but let me enjoy it instead of reminding me how I actually am.
Why should asking "How are you" provoke anything besides an equally short response such as "Well", "Not well", or "Just fine, thank you for asking".
Any further details do not answer the original question but assumes the additional imperative "Tell me the detailed !$%*!$%*!$%*! that led you to feel that way".
I know certain individuals that when I meet up with them I never say this because they will take the next half hour of my life telling me in great details.
I actually find it very annoying that some people say "How are you?" as part of their greeting and don't even stop for an answer, other people say it then pause, and some actually do want to know.
I think it's a very nerdish trait to over-analyse this aspect of communication and interaction with other sentient beings.
I personally try not to ask people how they are unless I'm prepared for hear whatever they wish to say, or not say. But few extend me the same courtesy.
I think the problem is very few people actually think about what they say (or probably think about much at all!).
