There is no type or household quantity of edible substance that you could leave my Lab alone with and expect any of it to be there when you return. I'd set the over/under at 3 minutes for a dozen sugar-coated donuts, and 5 minutes for a 1 kg jar of peanut butter (licked clean).
Oh, the irony! What makes this strip so good is what Dilbert thinks in the third pane. If Lalalakirby stole SA's joke, she just licked off the outer coating of the humour and missed the nutrient core (i.e. Dilbert's ability to accept existence, even when his food is only what a rat left over for him).