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"Who needs mittens?" was the perfect way to end this. I started laughing out loud in my tiny closet of a workspace and the people around me were perturbed. Well done, good sir!
I've never heard of "Silk mittens" from your behind. The real humor is in the deleted fourth scene where he shows them the mittens.
We all knew this kid back in middle school, constantly needed attention. Probably came from an abusive home and should have gotten over it or become a serial killer by this age. Did not like them then & don't like them now.