@ arc95 in one area I used to work in, when we got a particularly obtuse request, we'd just reply that we were out batteries.
This of course would let to the question of what does a lack of batteries have to do with us not being able to fullfil the request, which let us answer as follows.
"The batteries in our crystal balls are flat, so we can't read frigging minds or see the future so unless you explain what you want, it aint going to happen."
I'd really like to see panel four, where the PHB turns off his neocortex and lets his lizard brain speak. I imagine a deeper voice, glowing red eyes, a sulphur smell, and some extremely clear e-mails.