Well, there is always a very simple solution, and that lies in the books of J.R.R. Tolkien, which provide guidance for even the worst problems. Dilbert obviously does not know this. His whole sarcastic attitude comes from not reading enough Tolkien, which provides happiness and serenity to even the most battered minds.
I hope you don't see this as spam or trolling. It is really a very important thing for me to point out how Mr. Adams glorifies Tolkien in his comics every day. Even the PHB's pointy hair looks like black smoke coming from Tolkien's famous pipe!
Clearly, Mr. Adams named his character TOpper because it begins with "To" like TOlkien. This is the reason why Topper is so blessed and wise and all these great things (which the other characters unfortunately never believe) really happen to him.