1. Project begins now as scheduled by Dilbert
2. In a weeks time, attend PHB's useless meeting
3. Ignore "the talk" completely
4. Still finish the project after a delay of 1 week.
5. Blame it on PHB as he couldn't schedule the meeting earlier.
If point 5 is not possible for Dilbert, have Wally in the team, he'll take care of that!
I have to relate my story as well... I was in a project where most of the work was on my plate, but I needed materials (pictures, text) for the output I was implementing into a program from the Marketing team (I know...). We had about a month between meetings for progress checks. I'd get my work for the next meeting within the first 2 weeks. I would typically get the materials for the next stage the day before, or even the day of the meeting, which told me it really only took maybe an hour to get the materials. The project was stretched out over a good 6 months, and if things were done to my actual timeline, could've easily been cut in half. But, I do like to bring up the Dilbert episode where he accidently causes the creation of a marketing department in the "greatest engineering firm on Earth" (I forget the name).
I just signed on to comment this strip..
This is exactly what has happend in a project of mine ...
Including this: "Your 3 days behind the timeline. We arrange a meeting in one month to decide how to react."
Actually PHB did it the "smart" way. Dilbert's version documents non-performance and builds it into schedule. And it unfortunately leaves a "paper trail" that allows finger pointing afterwards. PHB's method acknowledges the week delay, but keeps it in the "undocumented" category.
Only the Secretary knows the REAL truth! (Don't they all?)