Since all the positions on our Help Desk were entry level, they were only allowed to take down the information and send it to the appropriate technical help. And since they had no idea what questions to ask the client, it made for some interesting work tickets.
WT: Client has a problem.
ME: What kind of problem?
WT: I didn't ask.
I phone client.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
Client: I'm downstairs in the lobby and need someone to escort me to a meeting on the 5th floor.
x_Tech: I (unfortunately) have to use an application that has to be restarted whenever there is any momentary loss of internet connectivity. Tech support insisted I had to have an internet connection that never did this.
In my experience, most tech support staff will tell you to reinstall Windows for any problem you may be having, including smoke rising from the back of your computer. In the event you use OSX or Linux, they will inform you that your OS does not support an Ethernet network. If you seem to be receiving a different response, it is probable that the support technician is located in Asia and there is a serious language barrier.