Dilbert might like a transfer to the company's facility in Elbonia. Or maybe work with Wally in the basement learning the Zen of not doing anything. Or perhaps introducing the FUBAR twins to Alice who would administer a double fist of doom, which might brighten his day just watching it.....
Why doesn't Dilbert just whip out his noise cancellation invention, AKA Dilbert 7/6/2003. I think PHB's everywhere have been secretly employing it for years.